I am approaching the 1 year mark since discovering my husband's affair. I was 2 month post-partum when I found out. I have never felt more lonely and all I want is to feel understood. The friends I turned to ended up being too judgmental, causing me to be even more distressed than I already was. When I communicated my boundaries about what I was comfortable talking about, they all kind of abandoned me. Turning to them has been one of my biggest regrets. My husband tries to comfort me when the pain hits, but nothing helps. My therapist tells me to acknowledge the pain and what I'm feeling, as everything passes eventually, but I find myself feeling angrier. I find myself wishing the worst for the affair partner, who knew about me and our family. I have so much hate inside me and I no longer feel like me. I feel like I hate everyone who has betrayed me in some way. I wish I didn't feel this way and I don't know what to do.
In a perfect world, what would make it better? For your sake and the sake of your baby, you need to work through the anger and if that means leaving your husband, paying one of those places where you break things, going on a trip by yourself, whatever it is, do it. Find what makes you you again, because if nothing else you will regret missing out on your child's life because your husband fuc$ed around.