I am experiencing depression relating to retirement. I was active in my career for 37 years and retired in 2016 since my husband turned 65 last year and we wanted to retire a I was active in my career for 37 years and retired 2016 since my husband turned 65 last year and we wanted to retire at the same time. I didn't realize that I could be depressed to this extent but I feel useless and without purpose. I had always thought retirement was the time to be free and do things I didn't get a chance to when I was in employed. I just find myself at loose ends and I feel like I've lost myself somewhere in the midst of all this. Has anyone who retired felt like this? If you have, can you please share your experience? Thank you.
What are some things that you wanted to do when you retired?
I certainly went through a phase like that - feeling useless and not knowing what to do with my time. It takes a bit of getting used to when your whole life has been structured by some outside agency (like work). Mostly what helped was simply time, being content to do very little, and learning to see the possibilities that exist. Now, I have a classic car to fix, a boat to potter around in, meditation practice, a lot of reading, the ability to volunteer for my local political riding association, long walks and bike rides, catching up on all the TV I never had time to watch when I was working, and glorious afternoon naps! The one main point of advice I offer is: don't equate idleness with pointlessness. Whenever you mind is berating you for sitting around doing nothing, try to counter it with something like: "isn't that what retirement is SUPPOSED to be about? Relax!" I hope that helps.
I appreciate both of your responses very very much. Thank you. Some of the things I wanted to do when I retired are probably the things I'm doing right now by taking a lot of time for myself and relaxing likeI haven't been able to do in many years.
I understand it's going to take time and I like the examples you provided. I am doing volunteer work which is very satisfying to me since I want to get back to the community. I figure I just need to do things one day at a time. I had adapt very slowly to change so it will be take quite some time for me to get used to this new phase of my life.
I found this on retirement and really like it - hope you do too.
I have been exploring this territory known as retirement. The obvious message that comes with retirement is that I no long have to "earn" a living. What that really means to me is that I no longer have to prove to anyone, including myself, that I have to "earn" the right to exist. I now suddenly have the right to be here, to enjoy life, to accept myself exactly as I am. I no longer have to pass exams, be evaluated or jump through hoops to demonstrate that I am worth something or that I can keep up with everybody else.
Why does it take most of us a lifetime of bending over backward to please others before we realize that we have been okay all along and we don't have to prove anything?
I finally know I am enough simply because I exist. I do not have to question if my existence is valid. I am here to be exactly who I am because nobody else can play my part as well as I can.
I do not have to deserve to be here. I no longer have to push myself or be in a state of panic to achieve something beyond simply being myself.
If retirement has taught me anything, it's that I have always been enough and I don't have anything else to prove.
@JennaSue Thank you for posting. I am having a difficult time mentally adjusting to retirement. this was nice to read.
Thank you.
@jennaSue: Loved reading your post - very positive attitude. Retired approximately 3 years ago & am still experiencing difficulties adjusting to it. Realize that I should have spent more time while I was working involving myself in learning new hobbies. Also, as a result of mobility issues I developed, I am not able to leave the house that often. So I am always looking for new things to do. Hope you are enjoying your day!
Hi Gutentag2. I'm glad you like the post. I'd like to share what just happened to me. I've been painting designs on rocks, you can see lots of examples on pinterest. A neighbor loves little Westie Dogs and I sneaked a few rocks with Westie painted on them into her flower bed yesterday. Another neighbor sent me an email this morning that Cheryl found the rocks yesterday and loved them very much she cried. She has been really sad due to her Mom passing. My point is little things can make a difference. We don't have to be running a company to be useful to mankind. Little things really do matter. Focus on little things other's don't have time to accomplish.
@JennaSue I really like your rock painting idea. I thought I would retire to be an artist but found the art market is really hard to get into and very discouraging. I didn’t want to paint pictures just to put them in a box because almost all my fiends all ready have my art. This would be and excuse to paint and spread my art around for free and make people happy
@JennaSue: Just saw this message. You are certainly an inspiration! Hope you had a good evening.
Hi Collettescolor, It is terribly difficult to sell paintings. I've started painting for the Westie Dog Rescue fund raiser. They have an action twice a year to raise money for the rescue. My donated paintings have auctioned for an amazing amount. This gives me a reason to paint, is for a good cause and keeps my house clutter free of useless paintings. Plus the nice replies I receive about the Westie paintings build my ego, ha. Have fun rock painting! It's a fun hobby.