This is the first time I have ever joined an online support group. I have been dealing with anorexia for 22 years. I really, really need support. I want to beat this thing so very bad. I am tired of the "anorexic" life. I was laid off in January and still don't have a job, so I can't afford to pay for professional help. I have been to therapists in the past as well as been inpatient on numerous occassions. So, I do know what I need to do and what I want. I just can't seem to do it! I am so sick and tired of the life I have now, though. I want nothing as bad as I want to have a normal life, eat like a NORMAL person, go out to eat with my husband, etc. I don't eat much of anything during the day, and eat the EXACT same things each evening. If I change that, I feel as though I have failed. I used to exercise to excess, but I did manage to stop that. I also abused laxatives, and now I can't stand the thought of putting one in my mouth. I can stop excerising and laxatives, but, when it comes to eating "normally", I am lost. I deal with depression and some anxiety too, and, I have felt depressed a lot lately over my "anorexic life". I am so sick of this disease, and yes, I let it win. I know there are so many people, like me, who want their normal lives back. I don't have many friends and hope to make some here, who share my issues. I feel alone and am so excited about this group, the hope that the group will be good for me. Is it for you? Are there people like me out there?
One other thing...I have never joined a support group, but, really wanted to give it a try, in hopes of getting support. Is it a good thing? I need people so bad. Friends.. I always feel so alone, depressed, like crying. Can this group help? How can I be normal? How can I be happy?
Hi Christig, welcome to support groups. This is a great tool to use for support and advice through your journey to recovery. You will find a mix of people on here, some who are in recovery, some who are in the process of recovering and others who arent yet at the point of getting to recovery.
You have not let your ED win; you are saying you want help...thats not letting it win, thats saying 'ED, I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE YOU HAVE TAKEN UP 22 YEARS AND I WANT A DIVORCE...NOW!!'. You have been in inpatient in the past you say, so you do have the knowledge and understanding of what needs to be done to recover, now its up to you to gather all your courage and strength and START the process!
Thank you Lilac! It is so very hard. I know you understand too. Do you get support from a lot of people in the group here? Has the group helped you a lot?
Hi Christi,
There are many amazing people, supporting each other on this site! I hope you will decide to join us all!
First, I hope you will stop blaming yourself, and at least open the door to the possibility that you CAN move past this and live your life free of the ED!! You definitely CAN!
I help to monitor this site, and everyone, for the most part, is pro-recovery, and very sincere in offering support.
I did receive your message and I will reply soon.
Please share more about yourself and how you think you need support the most....take care..Jan ♥
You can beat the ED, you have already made a big step by coming here. Everyone wants to support you in any way we can. You will do fine here.
you are not alone in this even if it feels like you are. And if you need friends you came to the right place! You have at least been going in the right direction for stoping laxative use and intensive exercise way to go:) I can understand the need to get ED out of your life. Maybe you could see if there are any good books that can help you along your way to beat ED as they are cheaper than seeing a therapist. I completely understand the "safety" of eating the same thing every day because i do that a lot, but by doing that we are not getting a variety of foods and since you are not eating a lot getting a variety of foods is helpful to our body but as you and I know its not as simple as that or we wouldn't be doing it. And to answer your question this group is good for me an I hope it will be good for you!
Message me anytime!
Anna
Hi cristing,
I’m new here too. I crave to eat normal foods as well. ED controls my every move when it comes to food. I only have a few good friends too, and they don’t really understand. They’re lucky. This group has given me many great tips and hope. I try to communicate at least once a day with someone I have a similiar issue with, so members can reach back. What foods do you eat after work? When I do go out to eat, there’s not much I can choose on the menu, and I always have tons of reequests to the waiter. Like hold the sauses, or no dressings. It gets embarrasing. But I’m not embarrassed when it’s not just my fiance and I. He knows my ordering routine and is so used to it. How does your husband deal with your strict diet? I’ve been told repeatedly to take small steps forward.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Take care of yourself.
Hello! I know how you feeling. I want to be normal as well. When i start to date i want to go out with my boyfriend and eat normally and not be concerned am I going to gain. I want to enjoy myself. I have been dealing with aneroxia for pry a year or so. The boards have helped me but i am going to a support group and going to see a therapist. I need one. Its hard to deal with this when you have no one to talk to and everyone is telling u to eat its not easy. we can beat this.
Thanks for your quick reply. What does your boyfriend say about everything? My fiance has justed started to get annoyed. He's pretty educated about nutriets in food. He constantly tells me that carbs and calories give me energy. (Just lately, for a year) I've been extremely tired. He has no sympathy for me, because of my food restrictions that I give to myself. I need to do something about this. I would give alot to gain energy. But do I want to chance eating a small bowl of noodles or oatmeal if it means gaining weight? I'm not sure at this point. I just started seeing a therapist too. I've hung on to ED for more than 10 years. It's good that you are trying to help yourself now. I would think it's going to be harder to break so many of my habits since I've had for so long. As it will be for you too.
Take care of yourself and let's talk soon
lclarke
When your with your therapist, do you find the session more worthwhile when you talk, or she talks? Just wondering. At my first session, I rambled on at times
HI Christig, I am new here also.
I have benefited from online support groups , so I wanted to let you know that you CAN do this! and finding a support group , esp. online is a step in th right direction.
I have just found the group today, but I have been in online support for the past few years.
I used it to help myself, because when it comes down to it all we can do is help ourselves and we help others by helping ourselves and it has been very empowering for me in my life to do this w/ others online in a support group.
No matter what you are facing,. have faith you can get through it!
Just wanted to say hi and let you know that you have done good by finding some help!
Helps to find others that understand what we are going through while we go through it and that empowers us to overcome what we must to be happy and healthy.
God Bless
You are who God says you are. You are beautiful, royalty, valuable, and a daughter of the king. Your behavior does not define you- who you are is who God says you are. Your past failures and the failures of others toward you are wiped away clean- because Jesus suffered on the cross so we do not have to. He took on the sham- guilt and all the feelings of negativity that the enemy tries to bring against you. The voids inside can be fill by Jesus Christ alone- things of this world cannot fill those voids. Food, drugs, people and the like are temporary- and will fade away. God cares and understands every hurt you have inside and loves you- as you run to Him- and ask Him for help- He will be there and heal those areas of your heart that Satan has tried to steal from you. Guilt, shame and negativity does not come from God- it comes from Satan- he is a liar. We cannot earn God's grace- we are who He says we are- not what the world, and what satan says we are. When thoughts or feelings come that says you are worthless, or fearful, or anxious or the like- that is not from God. He says that you are valuable, and he has not given you a spirit of fear- but power love and a sound mind- and to cast your axieties on Him because He cares for you. He loves you- and He died for you and all of us- He defeated satan- and you have the victory- God is greater than circumstances and feelings- He is there for you- with open arms anytime. He loves you, and He will never leave or forsake you. Run to him- He is our father and best friend- and as you accept him- you are seen by who Jesus is- not who we are. Jesus is perfect- we are not- Jesus never changes- our feelings and circumstances do- you are beautiful- because of His beauty and you were created by him- and unique with special gifts-lean on Him- He is greater in you than things in this world. Your past is gone- and God has your back. He loves you. Never give up. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Feed your soul hunger with the word- Song of Solomon " Oh how beautiful you are my darling there is no flaw in you." That is how the creator sees you- and he does not condemn- satan does. You are valuable. That is a promise from God.
Hi Christig,
As you can see, there IS support here for you. I just joined <24 hours ago and have already gotten a response to my 1st post. I joined because I too, felt the need for a support system, which I don't currently have.
I think you should first of all be commended as you have taken several big steps. You came and posted here (reaching out). You have also had success with regards to laxatives and exercise. These are not easy issues to get better under control.
Realize that you have really opened up and that is KEY to recovery. I have been in denial over certain things and am now starting to face them.
I wish I had some great advice to give, but I don't. I think what works for each person is as unique as they are. But know that you are far from being alone in this struggle. We all understand. Remind yourself to give yourself pats on the back for the progress you've made and not to beat yourself up for the slip-ups.
And don't let anorexia define you. You are so much more than this eating disorder!
Affectionately,
R