I cant keep living like this i want her to catch me. I try to bring it up but always back out., but now the guilt is killing me. Please help.
Why are you putting on your wife to catch you? The road to recovery will start when you own your actions. I wish you strength and courage
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@stepbystep202
I am trying to own up to it.
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You are hurting her more by not telling her. I speak from experience. My wife didn't tell me for a year and a half. In the end what hurt most was not the act but the lies. Just tell her there is no right way to do it.
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@CKBlossom no i recently discovered i was bi and caved in and had sex with a guy just the once but now feel very guity and know i was wrong. I fully take responsibility.
You need to just tell her. The deception and the fact that my husband didn't own up, for me was worse than the cheating itself.
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Have you considered reaching out to a counselor to help you navigate your feelings and how to tell your wife?
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@Leahzan i will definitely reach out for counseling for infidelity, but i cant give yp being bi.
I don’t think anyone has suggested that you give up being bi. Sometimes we find out more about ourselves later in life. Talking with a counselor to get support around how to tell your wife is a great idea. Understandably, it sounds like you might have some fear around the outcome of telling your wife. At the same time, it sounds like you think the right thing to do is to tell her the truth. It sounds like you’re not sure how to tell her, but you can work with a counselor to talk about your fears and to develop a plan for how to talk with your wife.
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@sunfloweraf Thanks for your support and help.
I agree that talking to a counselor can be helpful.
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so are you involved with another guy and are you being intimate? does your wife suspect anything?
if you are involved sexually, you are in a really tough spot… you can try to keep it a secret and keep going on with it. you can break it off before you get caught or you can just tell her about your urges… if you still love her, the best thing for her is to just end it with the other guy if you are feeling that guilty…
do you think she would be into the swingers lifestyle? that would be your only hope of being able to satisfy your urges and keep your wife…
this sounds like some really great advice…
if you did it just the one time, than let it go and go on with your life… don’t ruin your life and your wife’s life over just one time…
Found out after my guy cheated that he had actually been cheating a lot longer than he originally admitted. This made me question everything. The longer you hold off, the more deeply she will hurt. Telling her “you can’t give up being bi” might be a conversation for another time as she will need to digest your choice.