I can't stand myself anymore and I have no idea how to stop

I can't stand myself anymore and I have no idea how to stop myself from spending. Especially impulsively. I tried giving myself a limit for harm reduction and a 24-48 hr waiting rule before spending (as per my therapist) and that's not working. I'm just about at the 1k limit on my PayPal credit card. I owe about over 200 elsewhere and owe a family member about 1k because I had to borrow to pay for a semester at school. I tried putting limits on my screen time for my laptop and phone and I notice I spend more likely when I'm bored or tired or depressed. I rationalize away as to why I need things. Like I'll tell myself "oh well life is short, you need to buy it now." or "buy a back up just in case of whatever happening" or "this will make everything better since well once again life is short.". I've been tracking my shopping habits with an app and noticed I tend to buy around late morning or early evening. But beyond that, I can't stop spending. I literally was worried for debt I'm in and still bought something expensive this morning. And what worries me the most, is one day I will have to take over as head of the household for finances and I'm terrified I'll blow through everything like I did when I got a lump sum inheritance from one of my parents years ago. I recently got diagnosed with being borderline ADHD which explains some of it but doesn't really help me in how to stop. Any help is extremely appreciated.

1 Heart

Get rid of the credit cards now, pay for everything in cash and for recurring expenses you want to pay online get a debit card for a very low spending limit. These are not easy fixes and you can find a lot of free online tools for getting out of debt, but you have to get rid of the cards.

1 Heart

Sometimes, when we shop, we are looking for a dopamine kick (to make us feel better), so I find that once I have the urge to shop or to even scroll and look at items, I throw my phone down/or whatever device and try and get that dopamine somewhere else…like maybe having a nice cup of a drink you like, or doing a physical activity (like walking/running/jogging/just sitting in the sun). It’s sometimes just our body craving the happy hormone and it’s handy to have a list of activities that make us happy and as soon as we have a craving to shop, we just go to one of the activities that make us happy… This might be tough to do at first, but with time our brain will learn to rely on those other activities for dopamine, and not the shopping… (might not work for everyone, but might be worth a try).
I also physically limit my access to shopping aps and stores, as in delete all the shopping apps, and do not go into stores (except for groceries/emergencies) for a while…this with time will lessen the need to shop.
Also, be gentle with yourself, shopping-addiction is real…just keep trying baby steps and hopefully something will land.

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