i can't take it any more. i'm having such a hard time with everything laately and i have nothing to look forward to. i'm so sad lately and its not getting any better... my parents aren't helping just making it worse and i really wanna end it all so bad but i'm barely hanging on here and i'm trying to find something to hold on to but i have nothing.
Amberlyn, if you were here I'd smack you (not really) and then hug you.
You have so much to look forward too! I am assuming by looking at your picture you are rather young. I understand how difficult life is when you are younger.
You are trying so hard to become your own person, but possibly feel restrained? Life doesn't seem fair. You feel as if nothing is going right, you don't think you are good at anything and feel a little lost.
Am I right???
Sweetie, you are not alone - although I'm sure it feels like it. You are just trying to figure out who you are. Where you fit in to this big world and it's hard.
You have to hold on, because this phase will pass. Things will begin to fall into place, it just takes time to discover it all.
Some days we just have to try really hard to find something good in each day. What do you like to do? What are things you enjoy? What makes you happy?
Those are the things you need to seek out each and every day.
Sometimes when I feel down I listen to beautiful music with nature sounds while I draw.
Or I will look at a flower, or a butterfly, a leaf, a sun lit pool of water. But I really look at it, closely and think about how beautiful it is and all of it's delicate parts, the shape the design. How truly amazing it is.
I try to keep bright colored pictures around me like on my computer desk top or make my own screen savers. My screen saver at work is all bright flowers and paintings of artists I like.
Sometimes I will just buy a new candle for my room and light it to make my room smell good.
Sometimes just going outside for a few mins in the fresh air and sunshine help.
Sometimes just a piece of dark chocolate does the trick.
They are all things that are small, but they make me happy and cost next to nothing.
Make a list of things that can lift your spirits when you are down and put it somewhere in your room, on the wall or door.
Decorate you happy list and when you are feeling like you have nothing to look forward to, look for something on your happy list!
I'd love to know what you put on your list!
this lil sinner ruined everything. i destroyed a really good friendship and i can't live with knowing what i've done and that i can't fix it. my heart was always his and i know i hurt it. i wanna fix it but he doesn't let me. how do i live knowing what i did?
what happened?
i ruin everything by leaving him and doing **** with other people. now i'm trying yo fix it but i can't wish i could take it all back. i'd given anything to have a do over
Ok, couple of things. First breathe…
Why did you do what you did? Were you fighting with him? What caused you to leave him?
Let’s start there…
Do you mean you left him as in "It's over - I'm leaving you"? Or you chose to spend some time with some other friends instead of spending time with him?
he promised too see me before i left and he didn't come see me and i just had to leave without saying good bye to him. then when i had to leave for a second time he promised again and when he did'n't i got upset and ran off with another guy
Amber, I'd listen to Beautiful, your just learning from your experiences & what you will do in the future will not be repeated cause you've LEARNED something now from your decision of past behavior to take with you in life & thats what life is about. We cant always expect to fix all our errors/mistakes in judgement in life but learn BY them. I admire you for talking it through here cause that says your willing to learn, have remorse & get through the pain of the mistakes & the outcome.
Take care of you.
April
i gotta live every day knowing what i did and it hurts cause i wanna make it right one day
You WILL by learning & doing your best in the future to make the best decision for yourself & others that surround you & the situations/circumstances at hand at the time there happening.
maybe one day i can fix things and they won't be so messed up
Amberlyn, sweetie you are being too hard on yourself. I know your heart hurts and you feel like the world is going to end, but it is not...trust me on this, ok?
Now, you realize you did this because HE HURT YOU. Not once, but twice he let you down. Correct? And so you wanted to hurt him back. It's normal.
Here are a few things you need to deal with at the moment...
Ask yourself -
Why didn't he keep his word to you?
Did he give you an explaination?
Was he detained for a good reason - parents would not allow him to meet you, did he have to work, did he not have a way to get there, etc?
If he had a good reason - did he communicate that to you?
Then, and most people never think about this, what about the other guy you ran off with?
Where does he fit in?
Many people get caught up in the moment, especially when they feel betrayed. We have a tendency to react instead of respond.
I was a very big offender of REACTING to everything instead of taking time to think about what is going on.
he had no reason to have not seen me and just ignore me. i tried to get a hold of him so many times but he'd never answer
Then it is better that you are not with him. Maybe he just wasn’t ready to really be in a relationship with you. I’m sorry that he broke your heart, but you can’t make somebody love you. Your heart will heal with time. Concentrate on school and your friends. You never know what the future holds.
well i gave up on it and i'm deciding that i need to try and move on. so i'm trying right now to just move on