I have autism, and it was treated differently in my family depending on who it was. My mother never really acknowledged in a kind and understanding way what I needed; she, especially more over time, took more of a colorblind stance. My mother implied recently my father didn't really believe autism was an issue or real in effect. All my life, I had to ask: what was wrong with me? I couldn't socialize well, I didn't feel strong, confident, or masculine. Didn't help my father, if infrequently, would sarcastically imply that I should be more aggressive.
A lot when I was younger regarding my father was hidden behind the scenes; he seemed to sleep all day, be sort of mopey, and probably anger issues. One time, I was lying on a couch and thought I was all alone. Then--BAM! BAM! I saw him stomp to his room. It scared me. Never an explanation. There are other examples; one time, I was leaving with my mother and my sister in the van, and as we left the subdivision, my father turns in to the subdivision, throwing up his hands in anger or annoyance. Why won't people not take things too seriously? I may have loved my father as a kid, but I think he scared me. I have been wondering if this is why I am so different, even as an autistic person.
One time when I as home sick as a kid, he playfully hit me; when I complained it hurt, he said something along the lines of "Well, I want you to be able to go to school and play." I say things like that here because I have no idea what is normal or not anymore.
I have resentment towards both of my parents for never seeming to have a happy relationship. Everytime they talked to each other, it was serious or business. They slept in separate rooms. They fought close to the divorce, right in my presence; I can remember my mother saying something like, "I have the right," and my father saying, "No, you don't." I can remember crying from this, and they noticed.
They divorced when I was 12, the revelation it was ending seemed to come out of nowhere. My mother casually revealed my father was cheating on her; she phrased it as, "I think he's got a girlfriend." I don't doubt it necessarily. He had more than one, apparently. Curiously, in the years he's remarried and I've visited, his wife and my step-mom is always out-of-state.