I haven't posted in almost 2 years. While I am still married

I haven't posted in almost 2 years. While I am still married and life seems fine, I am not. The thoughts of his affairs haunt me every single day. I even went as far as reaching out to people I found in his iPad. It got me no where. I can't breathe half the time. Thoughts of the truth keep me awake at night. I will never get the whole truth from him. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice for me? Thinking it is time to go back to therapy. Has anyone successfully found the truth?

So he had more than one affair? Do you know why you stay with him? Do you think he has shown remorse for what he did and has he worked at gaining your trust?

@Fohb460 He has shown so much remorse. Has done everything to make me feel loved/important. It is me at this point. I just don’t know I can trust. So overwhelmed with all my emotions.

@Gettingthere01 If I could erase it all we would have zero issues. The scary thing is we had an amazing marriage before this. I was so blind sighted. I was the person the women would say I wish my husband loved me like yours. That is the scary part. We are always together have a great sex life. It is just so crazy to me. I love him so much. The question is can I really trust him? I trusted him more than anyone than this happen. I want to stop being a spy every time he travels. It is exhausting.

i am in almost the same exact boat! its lonely and scary and the not knowing kills me! he tells me he has told me the whole truth but i have caught him in so many lies! the thought that i will never know the full extent and that he is hiding something is going to keep me in this crazy, lonely and scary place in my mind. I understand and i have had 4 major panick attacks since i found out and since i have caught him trying again to cheat. i almost died once literally. im sorry for you because i know the feelings that torment you, and wouldnt wish it on anyone. good luck and stay strong

1 Heart

First, welcome to the site! We hope you find the support you so deserve. No one deserves to be cheated on, the lies and the sneaking are what hurts the most. We hope you find the peace and love you deserve. -SG

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