I just had a crazy episode. I'm reeling from it! Saw my

I just had a crazy episode. I'm reeling from it!

Saw my new Psychiatrist and she said I was crazy and she wanted to have me commited!

I was upset because of the last 24 hrs. And even the last hr. Before I saw her.
She wanted to change all my meds.
She was freaking out!
Then .. I got screwed over again by the same situation that got me worked up before I went in ther e.

Yeah.. My BPD was triggered! I had Luke with me.
I was sleep deprived!
She wanted to know my whole life story! Yeah... The old me before meds. Was crazy!
I'm trying to answer her questions! These people always jump the gun!
I'm 5 minutes in and you call me crazy and want to commit me to a Psych ward and change my meds.

She's fu(kin crazy! I
Before I could finish. The me in my 20s is not the me now. I couldn't even get to that part! Telling me that is fu(cked up!

Being poor leaves me open to being victimized like I was again. Discrimination!
Well.. I'm about to report these *** wipes!
I'm not crazy! Far from it!
I
Then this transportation ride wouldn't pick me up. Long story!

This is just another crazy situation. How did this happen? I did nothing wrong. Just being poor. That's my crime.

Well... Fu(k these people because in 3 months I will have my license and my car is sitting in my drive way and I won't need these people anymore.

1 Heart

This Dr. Was grilling me! Where are your friends? Where's your Mother? Really?
I said my Mother is a Narcissist! She knows exactly where I am and she does not care!

This is just a crazy, shtlty Dr. She's holding her hands over her face! Like I'm some entertaining Monkey for her!
I love how well she thought she had me figured out because I was anxious and talking fast!
The next time I go, I know I will be in a much more calm state because I am not going to depend on this medical transportation.
I'm calling Uber. They are the best, most reliable transportation for me. This other form left me at the Dr. And refused to pick me up?
They used my dog as an excuse because when I said I can prove he's a service dog, they still denied me.
I was able to to take Uber. But... What if I had been out of town? That would have been z much bigger ticket!
I'm emailing their Senior Director right now.

And btw .. I said.. To the Dr. Please don't say I'm crazy!

I'm struggling right now now to call my Mother and scream at her because she is the one who let my father Abuse me my whole childhood until I was almost 18 and finally called the cops on him.
Then she cared. Now she finds the ability to do something to stop him because she didn't want him arrested. But not before. Not when he's beating me so bad she had to get inbetween us and tell at him to Stop! You're going to kill her. No! That wasn't z deal breaker.
It's her fault! She's the one his crazy! She did this to me! He did this to me and she let him!
They are the ones that are crazy!

That Dr. Didn't get to see the real me because I was rattled and I still am. But it shouldn't matter. She should have zipped her lip until I finished. I know she had good intentions but she jumped the gun.
As a Dr. , you can't do that.
And she she's not even an MD.
I have been going to the same place for so long that the Dr. I saw for 15 yrs. Retired. They needed a full in.
I thought this Woman would be a new Dr. But she's not. She is temporary.
That is a really scary situation to be in though.
Fu(k her.
I'm never going to a Psych Ward or changing my Meds. Because I'm actually fine!
I'm just forced into the mercy of her as so I can keep getting my meds.
And btw... We are all fu(kin crazy! I

I'm not going to call my Mother! I'm never going to talk her again. Peace out! I might come to your funeral and rejoice. I hope she does go to Heaven. Good for her.
The first thought I had to stop the suicidal thoughts and give me a reason to keep going was to out live her.
Whatever it takes! Goals! Lol..
I'm just venting it out here and I'm grateful that this license suspension is almost over.
I will be good and I also will be so quiet next time I see this lady.
She asks me questions but she doesn't really want the answer. Or she wants a yes or no. I'm done talking.

Even though it was a rough day, I'm 1.) So glad I know myself as well as I do so this Woman was not going to intimidate me or manipulate me. And 2.) It sucks that while good intended ( I think ) is that if this Woman did this to me, she's doing it to a lot of others that are more vulnerable than me.
To actually say all the stuff she did and act like she knows me better than I know myself after 5 minutes, is so irresponsible.
I was abused and it's had residual affects. She was like rubbing it in my face. Relax lady.
I kept telling her that I didn't sleep last night and etc.etc. And she said, " I'm just going by what I see right in front of me! "
" Which that is Crazy! "
You don't diagnose someone that way. So dumb. You look at everything.
So I know she's in there changing meds and telling people lies about themselves.
I even wonder if it makes some kind of difference for her personally? Like pushing the meds helps her somehow.
She asked me if I ever tried depakote? I already take an anticoagulant for 1. And 2) that med causes weight gain. So why is she itching to change my meds. I told her that I've been on the same meds for 15 years and they work great. She just wouldn't hear me on my reason for being off.
So she's got to be doing the same thing to others.
But I said No! And back off! She also wanted to take away my atavan.
No again!
I know I could find a new Dr. And I might. It will all be easier when I can drive myself around.

@Stationary_Transient thank you. I have just been venting to try and release all the BS she was trying to feed me.
I was typing so fast, I mixed up 2 different things.
The " poor " me is about the public transportation. They are the medical side , so they do Dr. Appointments that are covered by my Medicare.
They denied my ride home and used my dog as an excuse. I felt victimized because I was depending on them. Thankfully I do have a car waiting when I get license back in 3 months. Having to take Uber all the time gets expensive, so I try to save money when I can by using this other service. But all they did was leave me stranded at the Dr office.

With the new Dr. , yes I can get another one that would take my insurance. I was waiting to see how she was. That was my 1st visit.
Now that I know, I could change. The only other thing is that she’s temporary and they will have a new one soon.
I just go there because I only have to go 1 time every 3 months or even up to 6 months to keep getting my meds.
I get overwhelmed thinking about another Dr. But Thanks so much for your support. That was scary!
I was shocked. And then upset from that and the transportation doing that to me.
But… Yeah… Thank God I have gotten stronger. I need to be to survive. I’m still hurting but that’s normal. It’s just sad.
I never go to Dr.s anymore either. Just this place because I’m not ready to completely stop my meds.
…peace… Have a great night too!

Man... I was trippin yesterday. That was rough.
I totally analyzed her afterward myself to figure it out.

Based on her Being at least 65 and saying she had a son that lived at home with her because he had bipolar, I thought, "this Woman has an Enabler personality."
She has a grown Son who has to live with her because he had bipolar??
And so she wants to prey on vulnerable people with this job and make them think they need her.
I'd say she is sick and twisted! ..Lol...

Wow, im sorry that happened to you.

1 Heart

@sawhite1909 i thank you.
I was thinking about all the things I’ve experienced that were so much worse and it made me laugh…
Some of those things were stories I started to tell her when she put her hands over her face and started shaking her head… Lol…
I agree… And I’m still alive to tell about? …Lol…

I hope you are having a peaceful night!

@Stationary_Transient thanks for your response.

The Dr. That I saw for 15 yrs. Retired.
Then they hired this quack to fill in temp.
She’s the one that said I was crazy and wanted to have me committed. She also said she could if we were somewhere else. I lost track of everything she was saying because I was in shock. After she said I was crazy.
I realize too that she was being dismissive with that statement.
If people can’t understand you, they just dismiss you as crazy.
She wanted to take away the meds I’ve been taking for 15yrs. And put me on something completely different.

Anyway, I’m having an episode of Anxiety because I don’t want to go back to this place because of that but I have to get meds refilled.
I need these meds or I will withdrawal and have a seizure.
That happened in 2015 when I was in jail.
I actually cut back to half of what I was taking but still need it.
I’ll do this today and then I will seek out a New Dr. That will be nice.
I’m sorry for my rant. I am spinning from Anxiety and sleep deprivation.
Tomorrow will be 100% better.

The movie was based on real life.

In 2017 At least 3 US Federal Agencies are investigating Universal Health Services over Allegations that it's Psychiatric hospitals keep patients longer than needed in order to milk insurance companies.
This is common with Military families who have Tricare.

And this scam has been in place since the beginning.

The movie just made me think about another corrupt thing going on in this world. But I know it's not going to happen to me because I know what's going on and I won't allow it.

I only vent any thoughts I have about whatever here.
When I go to this place later, I'm going to say very little. Just in and out.
Then I'm done.
Sorry again for rambling. I just want to get it out. I don't want to say this to another person. :/ I'm done. Lol.. ;-)

From Anxiety & Panic Disorders to Aging and Retirement