I know it probably shouldn't bother me, but my husband watches porn. I looked at his phone history and saw he watches it a lot. I tried to casually bring it up like I didn't look at his phone and he said he doesn't watch it. He's lying about it. Am I not good enough for him anymore? He never wants to have sex. But he watches porn? Like I'm failing as a whife to keep him happy and if I think about it too much like now I go into an anxiety attack. Am I over reacting? I know a lot of guys watch it, I just can't help but feel like he finds me ugly and unattractive so he would rather watch girls with no stretchmarks and who are skinn and don't stay at home all day with a baby.
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It's not you hun. My husband is a sex addict and would watch porn any chance he had to be alone. He would even go to the bathroom at work and materbate. I would talk to him about it more if you can. I let it go and then my husband now has had 3 affairs in the 7 years we have been together. Not saying that will happen to you. BTW Nothing is wrong with you. It isn't us it is a problem they have. Good luck!
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We are in a way simple creatures. Most of us are sexually charged and easily visually stimulated. Porn offers us the opportunity delve in relative deviant areas of our psyche. Some husbands fear that their wives would look at them in a negative light if they are found out. Have you attempted to indulge him?
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@MichaelAngel I don’t understand why he never initiates sex. But watches porn every day? That just doesn’t seem okay to me.
there is a thing called "pornography addiction", and could be the source of the problem @DBJC .
DBJC = MichaelAngel's Answer Spoke Truth and was Written Well. As a Man, When I ask married men about porn, they All watch it and asked if they watch the same woman with every viewing, the answer is rarely. Porn offers SAFE variety, in partner and behavior/s, and is free and easily accessible. In today's world porn is a common reality and your spying on your husband could be very damaging to your trusting one another. If He's just using porn to serve male needs, and believe me we have them, share it with him and get more action yourself. After All, He's Just a Man...
@Karma-Is why does he need to watch porn if he has me? He never wants to have seed with me.
@DBJC Nah it's not you, he's just addicted to porn. It could be worse tho. Maybe experiment with him, try doing stuff you two don't usually do
Is it your first baby? To me your words describing the situation speak a lot. Maybe he is somewhat scared of your new role, a baby is very important and preocupying...I don't think men should react like that but sometimes they do.Just give him some time and see what happens. Not all men who watch porn at some point get addicted to it. Just don't worry too much and don' t ask too much, it doesn' t help I think...
@knarri yeah it’s our first baby but he’s one.
I just don't think experimenting and initiating sex all the time would help. Sometimes men crave unengaging sex (whatever that means),like people crave junk food and he doesn't associate you with that, especially with a baby. I was just saying don't be too harsh on him and especially to yourself.
DBJC = I think your missing the point of porn, It's a movie, a fantasy, someone is holding a camera and others are acting out roles for viewership, sometimes reality TV, but still a well lit, well filmed, well angled filming. You are Jealous of a movie!!! You can't compete with the perfect young bodied women who haven't eaten for a week before filming or even the variety of choices as he can't compete with the well hung beautiful men of all sizes and shapes. If you want more sex, ask him to watch porn with you, and party down, without sharing that you spied on his privacy. Don't be judgmental of His Choices, Go With It, It's Not About You!!! Pleasure him while he watches as he can pleasure you as you watch. Tom Cruise is in a filmed choreographed movie hanging off a building, Angelia Jolie is not really a super hero (well 6 kids maybe she is;]), but go with it, crave his seed and he will share it. Do what he needs and you will grow to enjoy the fantasy yourself and With Him. Time and life change us all and if him watching a movie offends you, beware, many on this site are talking about real cheating, real betrayal, not fictional fun, a MOVIE. Be more open minded and that many who answered you speak of addiction, know nothing about men masturbating. Life is Short Darl'in, Work Your Man Until Your Both Wet and Dry. I wish You Great Passion... Make It Happen = Youuuu, Plan a Romantic Porn Date with Fun Foods, Inebriants, Play, Love, En-Joy!!!!
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@Karma-Is jealous? No I just don’t want my husband looking at naked girls. Just because its a society norm doesn’t make it okay.
Well, I understand I'm a bit of Jane Austen character but here is my take on pron. I believe it sets the stage for unrealistic expectations on both the man and the woman. People do not, as a rule, look like that and do not, as a rule, act like that. I think it makes the very natural, very organic sexual intimacy more difficult to appreciate and more difficult to recognize.
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I have to agree with Jenn4473. You aren't "jealous of a movie". Porn is a drug. Like any drug, it is used as an escape. Not a healthy coping mechanism. If you've expressed you don't want him watching porn, but he continues, that's disrespectful. If he's doing it in secret, it's infidelity.
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There is some truth to usmcgirl79s statement. I would add that there are some personality types do not react well to porn. DBJC if you are hesitant about viewing porn I would suggest that you try female friendly porn. There ate sites that specifically cater to this type of porn.
You need to sit down and talk to him. EVERYONE watches porn. So just sit down and talk with him and tell him how you feel. You need to talk with him. communication is key
Not everyone. I think porn makes some people feel uncomfortable and weird.
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I see it as cheating. He is looking at another girls junk. That's not okay.
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In case you and other women don’t know/understand, men are biologically hard wired to have sex with as many females as they can, regardless. Thus, a woman will never ever be able to satisfy a man sexually by herself, no matter who she is or how sexually appealing she is.
The forced and artificial coupledom/marriage arrangement goes against male nature, and fails more times than its succeeds. Marriage isn’t really for men, its almost entirely for the benefit of women. The only things stopping a man having sex with multiple women is opportunities, status, attractiveness. And sex is not the same for men and women. A man can still love a woman and have sex with other women, but for women, its a much more serious and involved act to have sex with multiple men.
The hiding/lying aspect needs to be addressed but as for seeking sex away from you, you need to understand that it doesn’t mean he’s stopped loving you. Its a biological need that can’t be suppressed.
Why he doesn’t want to have sex with you also needs to be addressed, as its not OK in a marriage if both people haven’t agreed to that.
There are a tiny minority of men who won’t act in the way if they could, but it’s probably less than 1%.
Human history is strewn with the evidence of men seeking sex with multiple women. Its only religious BS and fantasies/beliefs that most women have about monogamy that curtails some men’s urges. These artificial things are imposed on men and portrayed in phrases that are made up and defined by women.
I assure you if you split up and then find another man, the likelihood he will do/want to do the same as your husband is very high.
Marriage is artificial and goes against human nature.