I’m 24 female and I have no friends. I mean that in the literal sense. To illustrate this, I have never had a birthday party. I never get any messages on my birthday. I have never made a post on Facebook, been tagged etc, had someone comment on my photo. There isn’t one person (female) I can think of that I could possibly reach out to on anything. There isn’t anyone I could go out to lunch or meet up with. Believe me i try. I have had to resort to bumble and things but no one ever wants to meet in real life. I spend all of my time alone. Mostly sitting in my room. The only socializing i get in my dreams. I sleep with men just so I can ask them if they have any female friends they can introduce me to. Nothing comes out of it. I feel awful afterwards. I am so desperately lonely. I haven’t had Friends since I was 13 I really want just a couple of good female friends. what should I do??
Hey Mich00 if you feel like that I am sorry...I will be an online friend if you will have me
I am so so sorry that you have such loneliness. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better. Have you considered volunteering for a nonprofit or joining an organization? I joined a book club and a knitting club and that helped me start to make some friends. Just a thought. Please let us know how you are doing by posting back.
i agree, find hobbies you can meet up with groups, see about meeting some there. find ways to get out and meet some others.
I am so deeply sorry for the pain you carry. There are people who want to be your friends, you just have not found them yet. Do not give up hope. Sharing your heart was a good first step where people can listen and support you. You are right, meeting up with men as you describe will probably just make you feel more empty. If you know it is going to leave you feeling bad, stay away from doing that. You have received some good advice. Volunteering for a cause you believe in can help a lot. Getting involved in something is a great way to meet people and widen your circle. This is a non-intimidating way to put yourself out there. Even taking a class at a local college can expose you to people who could become friends. If you are a person of faith, consider visiting your local churches and finding out about their outreach. You can do this! You can step out of your comfort zone and open yourself up to new possibilities. Every day, take a small step to doing something that is positive for you. Even a short walkl outside may bring a neighbor or a person that you have not met before. You will be in my thoughts.
It's understandable you'd feel lonely. I'm in a similar position in that I have to start over with my social life after cancer and my divorce. One thing that may help would be finding something you like to do for you and only you. So for example, I'm a poet. So I started going to poetry readings when I was younger, in my 20s. I went alone. It felt lonely. It was hard to fit in. But over time I was accepted and loved and had friends in the poetry circuit who were helpful and cared about me in general. But this took time to establish. Guaranteed if I approached those people now, they'd remember me after all those years. So that's what I recommend. Finding the place that is cut for you, and find a way to fit in and eventually you will belong there and have friends.
You sound a lot like me except I’m a guy and I don’t sleep with women just to ask if she has guy friends. I haven’t had any friends since I was around 13 as well and I just turned 31. I did it by choice though because I don’t like the country I live in. It’s a very small country. I can definitely relate at least from a males perspective.
May i ask what you tried to do to solve that problem? Maybe be friends with the guys you sleep with?
@nicekiwi its tough to be friends with your lovers. but it makes for the best relationships
Hey there,
I’m so sorry you feel lonely. I’ve always had a really hard time making and keeping female friends myself. I still struggle with envy whenever women I know meet up for lunch, go shopping together, or take trips together without inviting me.
It has only been in the past year or so that I figured out where I belong as far as female friendships go. I always tried to inject myself into the lives of other women my age, but we honestly just didn’t have a lot in common. I’m more of an old soul, I guess. After I started going to a new church last year, I realized that the older women are my tribe. I’m probably 30-40 years younger than most of them, but those friendships have been so fulfilling! They truly care about me and encourage me, and there’s no drama or competition like I’ve found with women my age. We get together once or twice a week (before this virus stuff) and have the best time.
Is it possible that maybe you’ve been looking in the wrong places, too? I’d encourage you to try something you haven’t before – maybe a church group or volunteer organization.
I’m afraid that sleeping with men just to find female friends may end up leaving you feeling even more lonely. Surely, they’d be willing to introduce you to their friends without requiring a hookup first! And if they aren’t, do you really want to share the most intimate parts of yourself with someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart? You are worth so much more than random hookups that don’t lead to anything lasting or fulfilling, my friend!
I’ll be praying that God begins to bring people into your life who love and support you, and with whom you can have lasting friendships. I’d be more than happy to be your online friend, too! I’m always around if you want to talk. Please keep us updated!
Hey, im 23, & it’s the same for me, Although i don’t sleep around, as I’ve learned, such soothing, makes the issue worse by making u comfortable for some time, but makes it worse & worse, as time goes on
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I understand how hard it is to control or should i say wanting to let go of the control & trying to be calm all the time? It’s… tough… i know…
I need a friend as well, hit me up… if u wud like to, but wtvr the case… i hope u do better… & try not to have altered mood swings or intense emotions… by engaging in activities, (exercise/yoga, not sex).