I’m unhappy in my relationship, doesn’t feel like she loves or even likes me anymore but, I can’t bring myself to ending it

We’ve been together almost 5years. Around 7-8 months ago she lost complete interest in me and our relationship. (We barely talk, have no intimacy on an emotional or physical level, and she shows no interest in my art or hobbies, sometimes even actively discouraging them) I have brought it up multiple times in conversation and unfortunately there’s been no change or effort on her end to improve things. She never asks me how I am, or what I’m up to or pretty much anything about myself. I’ve gotten no indication that she even likes me anymore but she still sticks around. I’m genuinely unhappy in the relationship and I know I would be better off without. But I’m terrified of ending it as she’s all I’ve had/have for the last 5 years. I don’t have any family and no friends that I feel fully comfortable with and I’m terrified of being alone. Even though it already feels like I’m alone when I’m with her. How can I muster the strength to end things and how do I become ok with being alone?

1 Heart

I don’t think u see this yet but ur relationship with her has already ended. She wants u to leave her so she doesn’t have to say she broke up with u. Most of the time when a relationship gets to this stage, she may already be seeing someone else. If u know in ur heart it is over with her, then move on to someone else. Someone else will help the pain to go away.

Its sounds complicated. Keep talking to her and both of you should talk and decide what you both want. I guess you could tell her you are not happy and want to end things and see what she says. Its hard in relationships because every person is different with their thoughts.

Why would she not want to say she broke up with me? What would be wrong with that?

Because she doesn’t want to look bad by doing the break up. It’s a girl thing. There were many times where I had to act like I was insane to get rid of guys. It works.

I’m visiting this group and saw your post from a while back. I don’t know what you decided to do, but I think the worst kind of lonliness is when you’re actually with someone and feel lonely, “unseen” as a you tuber Mel Robbins says. Maybe you should work on making friendships and activities outside of your relationship. It can take a while for true friendships to grow.

It sounds like you’ve already recognized that the relationship is no longer fulfilling and that staying is prolonging your unhappiness and hers. Leaving is extremely hard especially since you’ve been together so long, but it’s a step toward prioritizing yourself and your well-being.

Start by acknowledging that being alone is better than being in a relationship that makes you feel unseen and unloved. It may help to reconnect with old friends, explore hobbies where you can meet new people, or even seeking therapy to work through your fears of loneliness.