I am in need words of inspiration, support, anything you can offer today. I want to let go of purging but I just dont feel like I have it in me or I can't do it. I can't seem to shift my thinking or Im at a loss on how to do it. I worked with my therapist yesterday to come up with a recovery plan...quitting ed behaviors cold turkey, emailing this group of 5 people (who ive already set up) in recovery daily and checking in with them about ED behaviors, my meal plan, and feelings that came up that day. I was supposed to start today which I still can but I've already messed up on part of my plan. I'm alone, I can't get motivated in the right way, and I have A LOT to lose. Im scared. I know I can do this, but I am in need of assistance. I feel terrible that I can't stop cold turkey and Im embarrassed for my first email to be that I was not successful on the 1st day.
Hi Brianne, I'm suprised your therapist suggested quitting cold turkey; I find it much more realistic to set short term, attainable goals so not to get discouraged when slip ups happen - cuz they will. Why not just be honest with the group?
Brianne,
Thank you for sharing. It is a huge task when you are trying to make so many changes by yourself. Even if you have a therapist to advise you, there is much more stopping symptoms than simply stopping. It is a lot to expect of you.
A meal plan is critical, but even starting that with no hands-on support is a huge task. The feelings and cognitive distortions that accompany eating disorders make it very difficult in an outpatient setting. I wonder if you have family or friends who you could spend time with, at meals and otherwise so that you can have some accountability and feel supported in a more tangible way?
I agree that taking things a step at a time, maybe working the meal plan first, and lowering your perfectionist expectations to a more realistic level. It takes time to change these behaviors. Cold turkey is great, but it's not very likely unless you are in a treatment facility or a hospital.
Every moment is a new opportunity to start over, just as every day is a new day. If you can try not to bring the past along with you, in terms of letting any guilt or shame creep in, I think you will feel more hopeful.
You CAN do this! You have a plan. Keep trying. Forgive yourself for slips, and get up and try again.
Perhaps keeping a journal about the emotions and situations that may surround the times you resort to symptoms could be helpful in the long run.
I know you are scared. But having a plan for recovery is the first step to more hope and stronger belief in yourself.
Take care, and NEVER GIVE UP!!
Jan
Never give up is right! Also know that you are not a failure and at ANY POINT during the day you can change your day around. So, if you choose to start you plan now so be it, but I like the idea of small attainable goals, like Lilac said. I was better off doing things that way. Maybe talk to your therapist about that...(((hugs)))
Take one step at a time. It will take time and recovery won't happen over night. *HUGS* Hang in there! We're all here for you in your recovery process. Don't give up! Whenever you fall, pick yourself back up and keep on going towards recovery! You'll make it! I believe in you! Take care of yourself! I'm proud of you for taking the steps on recovery and seeing your therapist!! That's great!
Thanks for sharing today..I know exactly how you feel..I only wish I had insurance to get the help that I need..I have had purging issues for the past two years and it is so scary and hard..I found through allot of self discovery that it is fear that kills me..Fear of any kind..I wanted to purged so bad today and I could not wait to get done with work to go get food to do so, so I could feel better..I have not heard from my daughter all weekend and she was way up north..I was so scared something horrible happened to her..Just about 1/2 mile from the store I got a text from her and then the feeling went away..I discovered today that it is any fear that causes this behavior..Feelings that I'm not good enough from childhood carried right through adulthood..Which really none of these are true in the eyes of God but, my mind tells me something else..I am blessed for my discovery today and I pray for you as well..I pray that you are having a good day even if you did not make you plan as of your last posting..Be kind to yourself..You are human and you are trying to make a shift in your life..It is going to take time and in this process you will never do it perfect each day and you have to be willing to accept that ..None of us are perfect..Ask God for forgiveness and then forgive yourself..Sometime change come one minute at a time or two steps forward and three back..There is no magic cure except patience and time..I know you will be a success in recovery because you are willing..God bless you and keep up the great work!!