I recently posted about a how i have started dating a guy casually,but since attachment and emotional dependency comes naturally to me i am feeling overwhelmed the person i am dating is not looking for something serious initially i thought i will atleast have an experience and learn something but since seeking immense love and support and care and expectations is what i do and what comes to me so not recieving love and support is now basically making me depressed ik i do not have the right to throw my expectations on anybody nor i would ever want things to be fulfilled by forcing it onto anyone i would rather leave but i think i jave started having expectations i have really terrible mental health days and not having even someone ti talk to feels really really disheartening I can't express how disheartening it gets now my talking is nit even just a normal chit-chat i would actually be a severe mental breakdown tbh if i am seeking support and i get it that not everyone is willing to take ky baggage should i stop dating? Should i still push all my feelings,suffer and have nothing and continue dating because even alone i will struggle
What I meant was that that my mental health is so bad that if i were to start telling ny problems or cry about my life would actually be having severe breakdown and ik not everyone wants it or can take it i am not very good with setting boundaries i put efforts a lot i can be busy and still want to meet him(i would literally go and meet him even if i am busy) should i just stop will it hurts if i stop would stopping be the right decision?
@blehblehbleh You have clearly identified what your issues are- attachment, dependence, seeking immense love and care which eventually lead to expectations or demands or depression when they aren’t met.
If you continue to date without properly addressing them, you will find yourself in multiple relationships that don’t work out for you. By properly addressing them I mean seeing a professional on a regular basis to work on them.
So, yes, I recommend that you stop dating for now to work on you. You deserve to feel confident and independent and to carry love for yourself and to care about yourself. Right now you want someone else to give you those qualities.
And they might be able to show you lots of love and care initially. But they will not be able to sustain that because it is unreasonable to expect someone to give you there undivided attention all the time which is what you want.
It is also not their responsibility to show you their love and care all the time. Love and care for you is your responsibility. Once you have that with the help and support of a professional, you will be able to find the right balance between giving and receiving love and care. Then your relationships will be very satisfying. Hugs
@kgmaxwell i cannot avial therapy at this point i am dependent on my parents and they would never let me get professional help i really wish i could if i could i would have. What can i do to become self sufficient, enough for myself? I really want to become happy on my own for myself
@kgmaxwell wow! Thank you really really thankyou yes my body as well as my mind did not felt good when i thought yk l should just keep dating btw i did ended the thing really and he was just cool okay great I understand, like just neutral i actually told me that i might expect, attach, depend just a bit like i just spoke for a second or two and he was like great! let’s end this then so at one point i actually felt like to just pour my heart out a little more but hey I didn’t i realised it wouldn’t matter and that he is not willing or interested anyway so why. i am still wondering what would be going inside his mind now or how does he feel but that doesn’t matter.sometimes i feel like i am too desperate for somebody to notice my misery and sadness and then check up in me and i still feel that but then every body is carrying their baggage although i kind of show that i am a miserable too often and i seem vulnerable a lot, people don’t. It not going to come soon but i will definitely do my bit to love myself a little more everyday and I think it’s better I don’t date for now i will try and focus on myself. Your advice really did help your are a stranger you might not see but it really did help me take the decision . Since i ended that my body feels at ease i am not going to lie
@kgmaxwell “Due to this book, Louise Hay has now created one of the largest New Age publishing houses in the world. And she has made it clear through the authors she publishes that she is more concerned about the bottom line of her company than she is people’s well being. It is a shame to say that this modern Mary Baker Eddy, known as the affirmations guru, is nothing more than a charismatic charlatan.
If you do decide to venture into this book, do so with critical thinking skills and remember that this author will take on no responsibility for your success or failings in these teachings. Also look at the credibility of her own healing, which can be explained as a lie, misdiagnosis, and perhaps, if she is correct, divine healing. Her words will likely validate you, send you swooning into good feelings, and overwhelm you with the presence of love as she constructs an imaginary world where you create your reality through your thoughts. Just make sure when you set this book down to leave that world behind as well.”
@kgmaxwell
US doctors are basically trained in dispensing pills. Patient comes in with a problem… take a pill.
I am seeing a holistic doctor who believes food first. Then if needed other treatments. I think this will be the trend in the future.
What stood out for me in your post was the unnecessary surgeries.
I recently had a doctor wanting to remove all my toes eventhoughn only one was infected. Would mean more money for doctor and more risk for me. Greed is a big motivator. In the US, over 7.5 million unnecessary surgeries are performed each year.
When I was growing up it was the dentists convincing parents all their children needed braces. And yes, the majority of the well off kids had braces.
How has the book you speak of helped you?
People relate better from a personal perspective.
So everything bad that happens to us is our own fault because we were not thinking positive enough?!
What hogwash!!!
I want to write a book called 'Hay, I Am Positive I Want You to Leave Us Alone!'
My book just became a series of books.
Next one is called, ‘Hay, Just Go Away!’
Kumbaya everybody, Kumbaya.
Deep breaths.
@Inmylittlerroom destructive cults spreading/selling their propaganda, promoting disassociation and blame the victim mentality on this site needs to be addressed, always. Evil exists when good men and women do nothing. unfortunately, Kumbaya never stops bullies and their enablers, it only encourages them.
@kgmaxwell
Happy to hear your experiences. Glad things are going your way now.
But some of the things you just said don’t make sense. Power of positive vs negative thinking. Although it may sound good, doesn’t play out in the real world. Bad things do happen to good people whether they are thinking positive or not. I think why people have gotten so angry here is because they know of Hay and her teachings. And the harm it has caused. It is considered brainwashing. Hitler could not have been the evil force he was without brainwashing.
It would be best not to push the book.
Jesus, Buddha, Ghandi, Dr. King, Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglas, Susan B. Anthony,Rosa Parks...all major #$$ kickers.
@andine
Geez, i am horrible at history.
When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money.
So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. – John 2:13-15 NIV
hey, this is the longest thread I've been on.
I'm learning things without paying a school.
We should have a debate group.
@kgmaxwell
Watch out for the Acme anvil over your head.
Or is that a giant foot?
No, I’m positive it is the Acme anvil.
Oh, Wile E. Coyote would like it returned when you are done with it.
Beep! Beep!
Out of 53 posts 42 survived.
Ooops. Wrong thread. This is the other troll.