I struggle with a porn and masturbation addiction. I’m 18 but I’ve been doing this for a while…I feel disgusted with myself and even cry or breakdown after a relapse. Cos I’ve been trying to stop it but it doesn’t seem to be working. I’m tired of beating myself up about it, that’s why I came to this forum to find some support. I’d really appreciate advice if any.
It’s really brave of you to reach out and share what you’re going through. Dealing with an addiction can be incredibly challenging, but seeking support is a great step forward. Here are some tips to help manage your addiction:
- Seek Professional Help: Consulting a therapist or counselor who specializes in addiction can help you understand the underlying issues driving your behavior and guide you through ways to manage your addiction.
- Support Groups: Joining a support group where members share similar struggles can provide encouragement and insights from others who understand what you’re going through. Groups like Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) or other community support groups like us can be beneficial.
- Set Clear Goals: Start with manageable goals and gradually build up to longer periods of abstaining. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they might seem.
- Develop Healthy Routines: Replacing the time spent on pornography and masturbation with new, healthier activities can distract you from urges and reinforce positive behaviors. This might include sports, hobbies, learning new skills, or volunteering.
- Limit Access: Block access to pornography on your devices. There are various apps and software options available that can help reduce the temptation.
- Mindfulness and Stress Management: Techniques such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing can reduce the stress and anxiety that may trigger relapses. Practicing mindfulness can also help you understand and manage your impulses better.
Remember, recovery is a journey, and it’s okay to have setbacks along the way. What’s important is to keep moving forward and not be too hard on yourself. We are so honored to be part of your support system. -SG
In addition to what SG Moderator has said, I say that it is natural and not shameful to have the condition; similarly, do not be embarrassed to feel bad about a porn addiction if society (family, friends, teachers, culture, movies, TV, etc.) has given you the impression hypersexuality is cool. It is a strange experience to think sexually of people that you may know or even be on friendly terms with. You are not less of a person for feeling so.
If you can, talk to your father, mother, or brother if you have one. Otherwise, calmly broach the subject of finding a trustworthy therapist or psychologist (the latter provides both advice and medicine I believe), do not be afraid of telling the whole story. Be brave, tell the truth, do not let anyone shame you, least of all therapists.
One last thing: one way or another, get to the bottom of the roots of the addiction. Do you feel lonely? How do you think and feel about the gender you are attracted to and, for that matter, people of the same gender as you? Do you feel excessive guilt over everything? Do you feel inferior? If so, why? If you do feel inferior, know you have no reason to feel like that; we are all the same. It’s true, believe me. If you are in high school, be optimistic. Don’t let your anxiety kick you down. Hang out with friends, join clubs, take chances with other boys/girls, etc. If it fails, don’t beat yourself up. Find the silver lining in every failure. Feeling bad can be natural. College can be similar. There is plenty of time to find a partner, do not feel rushed to find someone. I recently read a website that said people who are single until they are 25 experience better control or happiness over their romantic relationships or something like that. I wish I knew that.