I told my husband on 11/10 that I wanted a divorce. No one has cheated, there was no huge blowup. We were arguing one night and he said "you are never happy with me, this is who I am and I am not going to change". And he is right. I don't really like the person he is and can't expect that he will change. But he is a decent man...he works, he helps take care of our three kids, he helps with the chores. He also is very critical, suspicious of everyone and has a nasty temper.
We have been together for 18 years and have a great life in a lot of ways. But I don't love him. I wonder how I ended up with someone like him, our personalities are completely different. He is also someone who needs someone to be passionate about him.
So I said we should separate. We both cried, we talked a lot and cried more. This is not out of no where, we have been in counseling for a year. I still care about him and I feel so terrible to know that I am hurting him. But if we stay together neither one of us will be very happy.
We are planning to work together for a civil, kind, divorce. Split up our assets, joint custody of the kids. While we try to sell the house we are sleeping in separate rooms. I still cook for all 5 of us, he still makes me coffee in the morning.
I keep questioning, am I doing the right thing?? I have never been alone. Maybe I'll look back in 5 years and regret this decision? How will the kids handle it when we tell them? Can anyone else relate? Has anyone else been in my shoes and are happy with their choice?
Not totally, but I hate divorce, it means the death of a former way of life with someone you were once in love with. On the other hand, I have nothing really helpful, I am going through a divorce myself. I hope everything works out for all of you.
Time to move on . Start a new chapter in your life .
Life is too short. That walk is coming to an end .
@durrj91 That is how I feel, life is too short and I don’t want to look back and wish I had tried to be happier. It took years to make this decision and I guess it will just be hard for a little while while we adjust.
This sounds like a well thought out plan and approach. I think we all assume a bomb has to go off to get out. The fact that your not dealing with physical abuse or infidelity and are thinking clearly and not the scorched earth ending many endure. I am guessing you still have a few little ones in the 3. If he is a good dad and respects you, I don't think I know you cam all 5 be ok. Your the rare bird that makes a decision from thought prayer and love not hate. You may have some regrets I hope not but, if you do forgive your self and keep looking for the beautiful love and peace that we all should find,
Listen to your heart and to your soul. Only you can know what your feelings are and what is the right decision. It will come to you. You will find the strength you need. One day at a time. Love yourself.
Your situation sounds eerily like mine, except my husband was the one who came to the conclusion to end it before me. Sold house, bought separate ones...have 2 kids, very amicable. However, it's a grieving process and you will experience many ups and downs and emotions out of the blue. Best of luck to you.
@Jules72 How long ago did you go through it? Do you think it was for the best in the end? I am definitely in the grieving process :). It is like a death.