I used to hit my head repeatedly on the headrest of my bed

I used to hit my head repeatedly on the headrest of my bed. This was mostly in high school, but I have done it occasionally including just a couple weeks ago. It wasn't just frustration; as someone with autism, I never felt like I could quite fit in, so I blamed my failure to live up to normal standards or have what anyone else has on my condition. By normal standards I refer to getting schoolwork done quickly the way others had done. Socially, I felt slow-witted, limited, and stunted. I think/thought of it as punishment and also of making my "imperfect" brain work correctly.

2 Hearts

You are not a failure at all! It does make a person feel bad when they want to fit in and can't for whatever reasons. Your condition as you call it is part of you and you are a wonderful unique person. None of us have to fit in to be ok. It's ok to be you including your struggles. What are your interests? Let's talk about your strengths.

1 Heart

Thank you, I sometimes feel like I am prevented by invisible forces from succeeding socially. My interests are movies, writing, politics, and history. I have attended different schools about screenwriting.

1 Heart

@7102steps I understand there’s so many of us that feel the same but there can be different reasons for it. Those are all good interest to have. Being around others that have the same interests can be helpful because at least it can give us a sense of belonging and being somewhat social. Do you like any kind of games like video games or anything? Are you familiar with Dungeons and Dragons? That might be something you would enjoy during your free time so look it up if you’re not familiar with it.