I want to stop suffering
Me too. Sometimes suffering really doesn't have a purpose. And I don't say that to be negative. I just mean many times the world just doesn't make sense. And for me personally, finally coming to that realization helped me to drop all of the expectations of "karma" or belief. Granted, for some, those are good things and I don't judge. But what I mean is when you search for meaning behind certain things, it can be a struggle to find it. And that is added to the confusion and possible self-blame (not saying you do, but just using it as an example) caused by the expectation that you are suffering for some other as-of-yet unknown reason. I don't know if you do, and I suspect you don't, but try not to be hard on yourself if you find too much is happening to you. Most of the time if you are honest and look inward but can't find a "reason," there is none and it's not your fault. It seems by how you communicate on here that you know the problem isn't you. I acknowledge that and like that you are standing up for trying to make your life better.
@jonthecomposer thank you. I appreciate your response. I try to be very sensitive with myself, at the same time, I did have a habit of trying to figure out why every little thing was happening to me. I think I’m going to save the energy going forward. It was pretty awesome to see another person say that sometimes life just will not make sense, and it doesn’t mean I have a shortcoming for not knowing the reason behind something.