Idk if my bf is helping or ruining me

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years. We started dating and it was basically “please dont die i’ll kms” back and forth. It was not a healthy relationship at all. He had problems before i came along and so did i. But his parents blamed all of hos problems on me. It got to the point where they forces us apart(i think it was for the better just not well executed). But he basically grabbed me sunk his nails in me and did not go. It stressed me out so much. It was a whole thing. There is so much i could bring up but if you think it might’ve happened it probably did. But a year later i was still with him and things cleared up. We both were pretty good mentally and honestly it was good. but for some reason he just got so horny that it upset me. every time we hung out it was always him pleasing himself and then leaving me to sit on the couch to sit there and watch tv ig. It got to the point where we were with my friends at a amusement park and he took me to the bathroom and went straight for gold(yk) and i told him no. yk what happened next? i was comforting him while he cried. i didnt even know how to feel. There were many other instances like that. He also has replaced me on our own dates. one time when i did try to break up with him he basically made me seem like a bad person ans told everyone he knew and let everyone talk bad about me. He also keeps bringing up how i can only drink if i am with him? Not even with my friends if we are at a sleepover or something. which i think is weird. Why is it only ok if i do it with you. plus i moved away so he is super far away! i am just so confused. this is kinda a rant. i feel like i want to break up with him but i am lonely. And i love him tbh. I just dont know what to do. any advice on what to do?

Hello @realfluttershy. We are sorry to hear about your experience with this difficult situation. We know that relationships that begin with some sort of guilt tripping or shaming is unhealthy, so that is definitely a concern. It isn’t good when our partners make us feel pressured as well. There needs to be trust, good communication, and healthy boundaries for a relationship to flourish or be good for us. Have you talked to your boyfriend about any of this?

It sounds like you came on here for reassurance that you weren’t making this all up in your head. It sounds like a horrible, controlling, unhappy relationship and you deserve much, much better. Make sure you are safe, that if and when you do break up with him, it is a clean break, stop following each other on socials, block his number, etc. Love isn’t controlling, it doesn’t manipulate, you feel amazing in a healthy relationship, dazed and confused in a bad one.