Would you likely be sentence or hell or heaven?
What’s your thoughts? Me i don’t want to go back to either of those choices. I would like to scare 
people by blinking 
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funny. today i went to a restaurant that was haunted and ate creme brulée for 9 bucks. If I died I domt think I would end up in heaven. I don’t think heaven exists, I think the soul sort of just drifts and becomes everything. Like… I could become the red blood cells in your eyebrow and look through your eye, and then later I could turn into a big toe and feel what it feels like to be stepped on. Or I could become a cat’s tail sitting on a couch wiggling.
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The only ‘heavens’ and ‘hells’ which I am aware of are those which we concoct between our own two ears, believe to be true, and then proceed to inflict upon ourselves and others.
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I inflict my own pain. I love to inflict pain on myself. This is what I was thinking about yesterday. I broke my own leg on purpose, i put a knife in my mouth. I still self harm with food, i think about self harm every moment throughout the day. But i do not want to harm anybody else but myself. It’s hard to understand why but i still use cheerios to get sick
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I would take over another soul. Maybe something less aggressive… ?? Dolphin 
and talk to humans about stuff
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You’re one of a few people on this site that I actually like. it makes feel sad to know you’re feeling that sad. im going thriugh similar feelings today so im having a hard time finding the right words. please dont hurt yourself. you dont deserve it. you really really dont deserve it.
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I’m glad that you can sense it. I am about to lose my job. I still don’t know why i am living here.
I used to believe in that stuff a long time ago when I was much younger than I am now, but I kind of see the Bible as being more of a fairy tale because it’s a 2,000+ year old book that was written by humans and based on human perception. I changed to Agnosticism a while back, but kind of float back and forth with Buddhism from time to time. I don’t want to discount the existence of a deity being in charge of everything that goes on in the World because there are a lot of phenomena that exists beyond human comprehension, but I’m a little skeptical of the way that deity is portrayed in the Bible, and I would rather avoid choosing who that deity is or which written portrayal is most accurate. Although Buddhists believe in the existence of Nirvana, I kind of think that our energy is released into the World when we die, and it’s free floating to be absorbed by all life that exists in the World around us.
Being the realist that I am, I used to think that we just turn to ash or worm food when we take a dirt nap, but it’s more comforting thinking that my ash will be buried in a hole in the ground, and a sapling will be planted on top of that ash, in hope that my energy, will be reborn in that tree. That way, when my kids need someone to talk to, or peace of mind, they can visit me as a tree, knowing that I’m still alive and accessible when they need me, but in a different form.
My mom believes in that stuff, and when I told her that when I die, I want to relive all of the best moments of my life, like reliving my best childhood memories, and reliving precious moments when my children experienced joyful Christmases and Easter Egg Hunts, or took their first baby steps, or when they came home bursting with excitement from their first day of kindergarten class. My mom told me she doesn’t think it works that way, but that’s what I want when it’s my time to go, to relive my best family moments, and mostly the happy times I had being a dad to little ones who looked up to me.
I find it hard to believe in Heaven or Hell, and I kind of believe that it was conjured up by humans back when human civilization was in its infancy, in order to impose fear and intimidation for the purpose of promoting moral standards and self discipline in society. These are just my beliefs, and it works for me, but everyone is different, and religious ideologies are intended for the individual person and vary, depending on what adds value to that person’s life.
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Well, jobs come and go. Honestly people switch jobs like the wind these days, so I think you dont need to personalize it. Focus on your resume, and sending it out. Detach from the silly company that cant be bothered to care about their employees. Maybe you can get an admin position, I think those probably have less pay and can build onto your resume. Although, even if you do manage accounts etc., at a coffee shop from time to time thar definitely helps too. I had a friend who did that, ans then was able to get a job at the bank. Much better pay.
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Thats so well thought out, Id like to relive the best moments too, I think that would be a pretty happy experience. =) I think that can happen even without the supernatural stuff, like you can actively spend the last hour of your life just thinking about good memories. I used to have a box in which I wrote all the happy memories I was having currently. I dont know what happened to it, but it migjt be time to start that again. 
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That was something I decided when I was drinking wine one night about 10 or 12 years ago, and I kept watching my children growing up, and realizing they are getting older, and I felt like being in the military for such a long time deprived me of experiencing precious memories with my kids. While I was drinking a glass of wine, I started reflecting on memories of when my kids were little and how I miss those days, and started crying, which almost never happens with me. When I go, I want to be surrounded by my kids, and to be able to talk about those memories with them, and be able to reflect on them when I drift away. I might cry about that a lot when it happens, but that would bring me happiness and peace, all at the same time, and I will never be able to experience that again in real life, but if it occurs through some other means and it seems real, that’s good enough for me.
I also had a psychology professor who told me a long time ago that the cliche of, “I saw my life flash before my eyes,” has some truth to it because until 2022, it was only theorized that the human brain replays memories for a few seconds after the rest of the body dies. In 2022, an 87 year old man’s brain was recorded using an EEG, and according to Smithsonian Magazine, “For roughly 30 seconds before and after the man’s heart stopped beating, the scans showed increased activity in parts of the brain associated with memory recall, meditation, and dreaming.” I read the article through another media source, but apparently, there were huge gamma spikes in different regions of the brain shortly after death, and I saw another article in 2023 that supposedly they recorded similar readings in 4 more patients.
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One of the things that used to make me a little grouchy was knowing that our tradition of gift giving involves buying people presents, which is problematic and seems shallow. One year, I told my kids that I wanted to start a Christmas tradition in which instead of buying presents, you have to make an ornament to put on the Christmas Tree for someone else. I told them you can make a paper mache or wooden ornament of any variety that you choose, but you have to roll up or fold up a message inside of something nice to say about someone else, or recall a happy memory that you shared with that person, put a picture inside it that you took together, or just say what you appreciate about that other person, then put that person’s name on the ornament, and place it on the tree. On Christmas Day, that person has to tear open or break open the ornament to read the message. I also told them as an alternative, if you want to give a gift, you have to make it, not buy it, because it’s more meaningful that way.
We never started that tradition, but it was a nice idea. I might try that one year.
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I believe that animals are the real gods. And they judge us afterwards if we did or didn’t do a good job with treating them. I am feeling really down for today. Merry Christmas
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I think that has more value and meaning, I hope you and your family try it out for next year, even if they do give presents too.
I hope your day got better
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Maybe to Heaven, who knows?
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Woah I missed all these comments for some reason! The website didnt show your comments.
Anyways back to what you said about dolphins, when you become one what wojld you talk to the humans about? I feel like a dolphin life would be pretty cool, they loterally ride waves and speed along and dive around and have deep emotional connections. Pretty cool. I also found out that 80% of the world is the darkest part of rhe ocean which is insanity. I wonder if dolphins go that deep. You could become a researcjer and live with dolphins if you like.
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that’s such an interesting comment. I feel like your kids would really love to know you feel that way, in person, now. You know? Like once in a while you just have to cry. it’s really good for you so Im glad you did. =) How many kids do you have?
Thats interesting about the life flashing before your eyes. Im not sure I want to really experience that. But I would like to dream, before I die. Like cool ones, and then just slip away into the simplicity of a deep slumber. I had some weird ones last night, wjere these crocodiles crawled close then turned into black goop and got sucked into the bodies of people. Im in bed about to sleep so Im having sleepy thoughts. It’s better not to cry too much over lost opportunities I think. I dont think it’s too late unless we’re dead, but chances are we wont be bothered then anyways. Ive been thinking of reaching out to my father. I wonder if he ever wishes he couldbhave seen me grow up. Probably. I just need guts, but he isnt the best person. I think youre a good person, your kids will be really happy that you want to spend time with them.
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Actually I am surprised, i thought everybody hated me. I am locked out of of one site and i should be kicked out of this site yesterday. I was upset yesterday.
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Well to start off, there is no internet 
you swim and eat fish, almost all animals have one thing in common and that iwe like to play everyday with is a “ball”. I am really depressed lately and I am not able to write you back.
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