Im new here

Im new here. I am a mom of two daughters - my youngest has severe food allergies - to nuts, peas, beans, soy. It is driving me crazy, trying to keep her safe and also trying to help her not to worry all the time. It is taking over the family! I have an extremely anxious, obsessive husband who tries to help but mainly makes things far worse. He can not stop talking about the issue of food. He wants me to manage a list of safe foods but our ideas of what is safe are very different.
It is hard to determine what has beans/legumes because they are hidden in lots of thickeners, additives. Im not really sure that its necessary to be that careful. Neither is her allergist who has said that there is a lot of grey areas in this - much of it is trial and error.

She is most allergic to peanuts and peas - need epi pen for those. The others are less intense and just seem to produce some itchiness and an occasional hive.

There is a local support group near me but I just found out it meets on a night when I work. So I am left feeling really frustrated, somewhat anxious, and a bit inept as I can not seem to come up with this list of "safe foods..."

Any ideas, feedback?

Feedback, you are doing well. Another idea, change the allergist. At least do a second consult. And about you daughter. How old is she? I´m asking this, because she may be old enough to teach herself what to eat and what not. On the matter of the discussion you have with your husband, its normal, but it is better that the professionals, provides you with instructions, that the two of you should follow. Hope it helps a little bit.

Best regards,