So I met this guy in March and he was living in TN at the time (I live in CT). THings were going so great so he relocated here. HE is the first person I have really cared about and been in a real relationship since my marraige ended.
I have issues from my previous marraige (who doesnt) about trusting and believing menon facebook and some other minor things that bother me. My ex husband cheated and lied and probably had a sex addiction. We have been divorced 2.5 years.
Saturday night, my boyfriend told me he wants to "be friends" and get to know each other more because I have issues that I need to work on and he doesnt want a girlfriend with these issues (trust basically). We both agreed we moved quickly but I do not understand how one day he is telling me i am his life and the next week he is telling me we need to stop being affectionate, stop kissing and sleeping together until I work on "my issues" from the past.
From my perspective, if you are in a relationship with someone, wouldnt you help them and want to help them work through their issues?
He even told me that if it werent for my daughter, he would have alreay left. I care a lot about this man and we value a lot of the same things but I feel like giving up if he doesnt care enough to support me and help me.
I am on medication and I do see a counselor but this has thrown me into a whole world of depression. I feel like just crawling into the corner and I have been crying for two days. I really need some advice and I appreciate anything anyone can offer.
I’m no expert, but it sounds like this guy is very egocentric and doesn’t have your best interests at heart…or he’d stay and help you, not desert you. Please know that it’s NOT your fault…it’s him, NOT you. Please crawl out of those covers and get back out in the world and surround yourself with positive people. I’d like to say I can’t believe the cruel things he said to you, but I’ve had the same words and then some said to me by my ex. I’m not over it yet and idk if I ever will be. I can only go thru just one day at a time and not look so far into the future and the worries that come with them. Just breathe…
Hi I think you guys need to have along chat on where both your heads are at and where you see the relationship going in the future. It is confusing when he said if it wasn't for your daughter he would have left, but if he said this in an arguement people say things in anger they will regret. It would be the appropriate thing for you to work through your issues together like you said, but remember everyone has different ways of expressing themselves making everyone unique. Everthing happens for a reason, so whatever happens you have fate on your side.Gemmaxx
Hi erikafletcher, How long have you both been seeing each other? If the shoe were on the other foot, what would you do? Would you retreat like he is doing? I agree with Genmaxxx. You both need to talk wit each other and find out where you stand.Keep sharing with us. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))
there is nothing so funny or confusing like a man who says one thing and does another, communication is the key and u should respect his principles not to sleep with u untill u can trust him, at least he doesnt just want what ever he can get and go on his way, yes children do complicate adult lives and he is trying to b considerate in his own way but u must remember men only get excited about sport otherwise they shouldnt b allowed to speak cos nothing sounds like they mean it. take heart and chat to him about where u are with the relationship
good luck and remember if u dont understand what he means ask him to break it down so u do
I am in the same position as you my past of being cheated on his haunting me and its affecting me and my GF;s relationship except she goes to school 4 hours away so its hard and she doesnt like to show emotion cause she is afraid of getting hurt and I push her away cause I think she is going to hurt me.....I understand completely where you are coming from your BF should be there My GF has a laundry list of issues I try to help her on even though I dont get support on my issues I have......Bipolar...and slight depression....
Chin up! If he loves you it will work out. I just read the 5 love languages with my fiancee. I have never had such a wonderful relationship before. I have OCD and Idiopathic Hypersomnia along with Major Depression. I think I am getting close to remission on the depression though. Luvox and Xyrem rock!