I did meth for like 6 months 10 years ago. I quit pretty easily, but always snorted it and could make a quarter gram last like 3 weeks. But I've always fettishized it's use. Last November, (a year ago) I got some and smoked it, and played on the web cam crossdressed. Since then I've done that 3 more times (maybe 4?) last night being the latest. I think I'm still coming down cause I'm still up and totally irrational. How can this sh** be so addictive?? It ruined my relationship, or helped to... I did it last night cause we broke up the day before... She doesn't even know. I'm broken.
Hi Imustcomeclean, We are addicts period. I heard in a meeting once from an oldtimer that we are obsessive and compulsive people period. We can be obsessive and compulsive about any and everything. When going through difficult times, we may turn to what we know. What brought us comfort before only to wake up later regretting our decision. Sometimes once we pick up again, it can be hard to put down again. Once we are sober and clean, if we pick up again, we never know if we will have another chance at being sober and clean again. If you feel you need face to face help with this, then I suggest going to an NA meeting - http://www.na.org/ . There is also some online here http://www.stepchat.com/ . Just for today - don't use. Keep coming back and letting us know how you are doing. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))
Thanks bluidkiti. It's just nice to be heard.
You are so forthright with your battles. Others are closed off and don't communicate. Keep up the good work.