I'm scared

Mental Health Depression & Mood Disorders
1

I feel like my life is spinning out of control. I am 8 months sober. Not my first go at this by any means, I've been battling addiction for 20 years now,pot,cocaine(every way it can be done)but alcohol has always been my biggest demon. Two years ago my husband overdosed when shooting up cocaine in the bed next to me, I woke up with him dead beside me he had been dead for hours. I was overcome with grief and depression and anxiety. It got to where I was drinking from the time I woke up to the time I p***ed out in the evening, getting up in the middle of the night to drink. I totally isolated myself from my family especially my 24 year old daughter. She became fed up with me and told me she wouldn't talk to me until I got sober. I went to a 28 day rehab and came out feeling very strong...that was 8 months ago.
I am soooo tired of life kicking me in the ***. I know I need to take life on life's terms but it is getting hard.
I had to have my doberman put to sleep a few months ago..another thing taken from me. My daughter is moving out of state...another thing taken form me. She has been my check valve since I've been sober..she keeps me honest. I am TERRIFIED that when she leaves I will have no one. I have no friends, I feel utterly alone and I am scared

P.S I have tried AA and it is not for me

2

Hi Purple Girl, I just responded to your other post and to piggyback on it, I think it's all about looking ahead to a bright and beautiful future for yourself. If you can start creating wonderful purpose and meaning, then you will be able to continue on this positive path that you are on.

3

I got depression taking care of my adult disabled daughter and I finally went to the Dr. and told her and that was back in 2008, but i first got depressed a few years before that and just thought it was me coming down with something.I had a very hard time getting out of bed and i just wanted to be left along. I tried all kinds of meds but they didn't work and finally found one that really helps me out now and i still have depression but NOT like it was before..I still have tends to isolate myself and not really going out by myself and am trying very hard to go for a walk.
I need some support on this one.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
voncha

4

Voncha, I am so happy that your current meds are helping and that your depression has subsided. Take baby steps with the exercise; start off very small and build up from there. Can you take a small walk outside tomorrow?