In knots

Today was a pivotal day for me... I was a ball of nervous energy. Flitting about from one thing to the next, unable to concentrate, anxiety pulling at every corner of my mind. This afternoon arrived, and I was literally confronted by two well-meaning coworkers that insisted on telling me how much BETTER I look these days... Sincere and nice, BUT... I headed back to my classroom, and dug through my stacks and plans, making sure everything was in place. I gathered things I thought I might need while at home. I straightened and tidied. Left last minute post-it notes for my poor, unsuspecting sub... And when I was done, I breathed... I looked around... There was nothing else for me to do. And reality rushed in. I will not teach again until Monday... The next time I am at school, my surgery will be a memory.

I've been avoiding my fears with busyness and preparations... I've been working like crazy. And now I'm not... I still have prep work to do... I have a couple of appointments tomorrow, errands to run, phone calls to make, and cleaning to do... It will be a big, full day. And yet... With my "work" complete... Everything feels closer, like it's more REAL in some way.

Everyone at work thinks I'm WAAAAAYYYY out of perspective... That everything will be FINE, and I shouldn't worry so much. And I know they're right... I HOPE they're right... Once it's over, I'll probably wonder why I made such a fuss over this... And yet, I'm SCARED.....

I had Group tonight... I left work and drove in my reality-setting-in frenzy, and settled into my customary chair in my therapist's office. We were handed body image worksheets. I didn't want to be there. I began reading anyway. I resisted. Refocused. Tried to do what was asked of me. But the more I read, the more I thought about all my imperfections and the things I hate about my body, the more my disgust with myself and my situation GREW... In response to a question about how we were FEELING, I muttered that it was making me DEPRESSED. Unable to expand on that thought, I finally murmured, "PASS"... Take the conversation elsewhere, please! My brain couldn't handle it. I felt if I tried to speak, I would burst into tears. And I didn't particularly feel like having a mental break down in the middle of group therapy, two days before my surgery. Though, I suppose if I had to have one, that probably should have been it! ;0)

I'm wondering how normal people COPE with stresses like this... People have surgery all the time. MAJOR surgery. And they don't fall apart. Or, I don't see it, anyway...

I'm also thinking a LOT about WHY my body image is so poor... Why I hate myself so much of the time... I'm not as constantly AWARE of these feelings as I was when I was so deeply into my depression, but these worksheets bring it all right to the surface. I'm forced to face my feelings about myself. And they're not good. At ALL... Others reported poor thinking about themselves, too, but MY thoughts seemed out of proportion. And I kept going back to some earlier experiences in my life and how they affected my body-image. And self-esteem. Confidence. I want to cry... How might things have been different?? And yet... That line of thinking will not help... I can't seem to shake this feeling that TALKING about my ****** body image isn't going to HELP... It's dragging my flaws into the spotlight. It's depressing me. It's making me realize just why I feel myself to be doomed to life as a depressed and lonely spinster... Because that's all I feel I deserve. That's all I feel capable of. And that thought depresses me, too.

I'm sorry for the rant, my friends... I'm feeling... Bad... There aren't words... :0/ Haven't felt like this in a long while... Probably good I have therapy tomorrow... :P

Good night,

Jen

oh my friend, im sorry! i have been worried about you and praying for you! you have been on my mind a lot and i do feel your pain! i know you are worried as i would be, but know you have us--and i know no words can comfort that. i know there is also a correlation to your body image know and your stress...

you are wonderful and know im thinking of youi and i wish somehow i could ease your pain!

love
maureen

Oh Jen, I have been so worried about u last couple of days, have been thinking about how u were. Im so sorry that you are feeling so down at the moment. I'm not even sure that anything I say can make you feel better right now. Please do not think that you will be a sad, lonely spinster, you will NEVER EVER be that. You deserve so much to be happy, healthy & loved. I tryely believe that there is someone out there for everyone & you will find him.

As for body images, I think we can all relate to this one. Know that you ARE beautiful & you deserve to feel love towered yourself too. One day I hope you will be able to see this.

I so hope that your therapy session goes well tomorrow. I'm sorry that I cannot be of better help, I feel so useless that I cannot do more for you.

Keep strong Jen, & know that we are all here for you & love you. Keep us posted

Much love

Lisa xx

Maureen and Lisa,

Thank you both so much... It helps to be heard and understood. ♥ Truly! :)

Didn't sleep well last night, but I suppose that's to be expected. I chose not to set my alarm, but am up early anyway. :P I forgot that Wednesday is trash day, and I had to rush out in my pjs in the dark to take my trash to the curb! LOL! Only ran into ONE neighbor! Ha!

I feel the start of a headache. Tension, no doubt. Will get moving soon, and that should help. :)

Much love!

Jen

Jen,
Dear friend...I am concerned for you, but I believe your surgery will go fine. Knowing you, I think much of this recent emotional upset is due to the fears of your upcoming surgery..plus sleeping problems and some trauma memories.
Please keep writing, and try to trust that in very short time, you will feel better and be able to move forward more easily...thinking of you....HUGS..Jan ♥

Thank you, Jan. ♥ I'm hanging onto that hope. Talk to you soon. :)

Love,

Jen

How did your therapy session go Jen? Definitely hold on to the hope!!! You can do this

Xx