It is almost one year now since my miscarriage. Since last November, I could not sleep at night. and because of that, I was having migraine pain. also, some couples had babies on the time I would have my babies. that also triggered me! I felt sad watching them having their babies. And my feelings made me hate me.
Finally, I shared what's happening in my mind with my husband, he said it's natural and you are not a bad person to feel like this. Then we discussed having a child. I was going to start my last semester at that time. so he said, "let us wait until you finish your masters because I would not like it if you have to stop midway". I told him that I feel if I have a child I would feel better. but if we decide to have a child now, then we will not be able to travel to our country to see my parents this year. and also I will not be able to get a covid vaccine, then throughout the pregnancy, I will be risking myself and the child. Also, I do not want to stop my study in the midway.
I still feel that way after 4 months. but I want a child badly. and every month I hope that I won't be having my menstruation. is it normal to think so much before doing it? am I afraid or just overthinking? I do not understand myself anymore.
Hi- Your story reminds me of when I was trying to get pregnant. When we were trying, I almost gave up trying and wanted to adopt a baby but my husband is my constant encouragement. I had infertility treatments and I was tired of expecting positive pregnancy results. He told me that I would get pregnant in God’s perfect time. I remember him telling me that our baby would come when we’re both ready. That time my husband was enrolled in masters degree and had lots of work assignments internationally. I was also a supervisor at my work and could not easily file a leave of absence to be with my husband whenever he travelled.
It's good that you were able to share your feelings with your husband. I think he is right.
I understand, waiting can be hard but it’s good that you have your husband's support. Take care of yourself. If you think you need professional counselling, please do so. It can be helpful in managing your emotions. Please keep us posted. God bless.
It is totally normal to want a baby even though it isn't the best time right now. You are working towards a goal of education, but you can also work towards making your body the healthiest it can be so when you are ready it is ready. Prenatals, exercise, healthing eating habits are all things you can do so in your mind you are preparing. Hugs!
@CKBlossom Thanks. past few days were tough to pass. but I managed. we prayed together for them. Tried to focus on our mental well being, keep up with our works. thanks for all your support and nice words. it really means a lot.