It's a slow process....
My wife and I have been talking more about our individual wants and needs, in order for us to make our marriage be something that fulfills both of us. We've made progress.
Her not working with the AP does help. Now, I have to manage my feelings of anxiety and insecurity that pop up whenever one of my triggers presents itself.
She actually brought up counseling and said she wants to speak to our original counselor (who I have seen by myself, off and on).... I think the main draw for her is that this person already knows our story, so she doesn't have to re-visit the details of the affair.... But I also think it helps that when she has asked about how my sessions have gone, I make sure she knows that the counselor remains very objective and frequently talks to me about seeing things from my wife's perspective.
I just hope she will put in the real effort that it takes to benefit from counseling. She's going to see the counselor independently as well as with me.
I think this is a good step for us.