I've become even more antisocial and less loving and I guess there's no reason behind that. I'm still the quiet young gal, but less caring about others. I genuinely did love others and used to be there for them when needed, but now I can't feel anything. I can't care about people, or even about animals. I'm always that angry person who hates people. I think it's good to vent my feelings, but why do I find it harder to be emotionally close to people nowadays? Maybe I've been emotionally hurt for so long that I've simply become less interactive, like I used to interact with people that I like first. I was a sincere and a good-hearted person. I can't express sympathy, but sometimes I do feel some slight empathy. I'm worried that I'll turn out to be a sociopath, since sociopaths were good people, but ended up being criminals in the future. I know people will say that they never worry whether they are sociopaths or not, but I disagree. There are some cases that sociopathic people do worry about themselves. I have so many conflicting thoughts in my head. Sometimes I want to remain a good person again, sometimes I don't want to have feelings for anyone just to avoid all the pain. I guess there's no way of changing it.
Hey KidDJ, Am sure you are still the same caring person. Life is hard enough without putting yourself down in your thoughts. You just graduated and your life is starting a new exciting chapter. Don’t let the betrayals and hurts from your past dictate your happiness as you move forward. Don’t know if in your country you have animal shelters but if you do might want to consider volunteering. I can tell you from experience that the unconditional love of a dog can bring to you is the most rewarding feeling there is!
@starship I reject people’s love if I don’t feel the same way. I just don’t want to come off as disingenuous, so I just be straightfoward with them. It’s getting harder to feel any love to anyone, even if I try my best.
Don’t trip, a sociopath is a whole different type of person. I’m very similar to you…if someone is hurt, down, whatever, I’m yeah, ok…deal. Now if a little kid or an animal is hurt, I’ll try to help, maybe even cry. In my line of work, I deal with lots of people, many of them are not nice, so I just get through it and off to the next. I was more of a sociopath when I used…my drugs were meth and heroin or just meth… Then, I didn’t care about anyone or anything. Just work, get money, get high…and repeat.
So do you think that you’re still a sociopath? Or have you changed?
I don’t think I’m a sociopath…in my type of work, I need to be aware of the feelings of others and respect them. I’m just anti social. I prefer to be alone, yet with work, living, etc…I have to be around people. I don’t intentionally inflict pain on people.
I see. Are you actually a sex worker? If yeah, how do you survive when you have to deal with harassment?
Been doing sw for years, so what most people call harassment is just another day at work. You have to learn not to let that stuff bug. What is it you do? Do you get harassed a lot?
Have you considered the idea that you’re just already jaded or tired of the constant barrage of bullshit in life? You don’t have to be a sociopath to be disillusioned by the current direction of modern life. Seems people in your age group have far more pressures in life to keep up with trends, internet culture, etc. If you aren’t interested in the “popular” things in life, it’s easy to end up feeling withdrawn and isolated. Even develop a seething anger that just feels like it’s always been there and is a normal way to feel. Society as of late, loves to make you feel like there’s something wrong with you if you don’t have deep seated empathy or love for every living person, group, or creature on the planet. That’s simply untrue. Just because you aren’t sitting in a hippy circle jerk singing “We are the world” doesn’t mean you’re all of the sudden a part of the Dark Triad. It most likely means that you’re pragmatic, direct, and/or introverted. To be honest, being an overwhelmed young person doesn’t hurt either, and may very well also be the case. Considering my interactions with you and seeing your posts, I’m kind of leaning towards pragmatic and direct with a dash of being overwhelmed on this one, but that’s just my opinion.
I go to college. And no, I don’t face any serious harassment of whatsoever.
Now that I think about it, I’m starting to realize that I’m not developing sociopathy as I still feel sorrow for other people that are having misfortunes. Maybe it’s just my contstant anger screaming at me.
I know dealing with anger all too well. The beautiful thing about being angry, is that you can turn it into motivation. Motivation to change a situation, exercise, or move forward in some other way. Being pissed off can bring you a certain clarity and desire for action that you don’t get when you’re contented. It’s just a matter of being aware enough to wrangle it when it’s there. To be honest, if you’re interested in finding healthy outlets for it, you could check and see if there are any MMA gyms in your area.
I had this experience this past year, where I became a bit antisocial. Ive had family tellnme Im selfish and only see my own feelings.
From my experience working in mental health and my own life experiences, often it’s not that you’re a sociopath, but that a person is unable to access their empathy for others in a moment or even months, if their own needs are not being met. And that might be that you need to process your life experiences, and set boundaries, or it migjt be that youve given too much in the past and not had it reciprocated, or that people have been cruel to you and you’re trying to keep yourself safe by not letting yourself care about others too much. It could be different reasons, and it might help you to try to figure out which of these, or a different reason you feel less empathy/caring. e.g. a person on drugs is very dependent and unable to think of much else except that addiction and how to feed it. It’s a form of numbing that wrecks your life .
Sometimes witnessing something is a big part of letting that experience go, or even changing. But if you start calling yourself a sociopath, that’s an identity label which isnt helpful unless it’s to alert someone how to help you. e.g. broken arm diagnosis so someone doesnt try to fix your leg. 
I’ve never been to a MMA gym before, but I’ve been to a regular one, where you work on your biceps and calfs. I had fun, until had to stop because of college.
I’ve been mentally abused by peers of my age since 2015 until 2023, and even having OCD at 15 made worse for myself, so I guess those were the major factors of becoming antisocial. I’ve been in a bad company with people that were verbally aggressive towards me and the others, a few were pornsick as fuck, others were masking their true colors.
Honestly any kind of gym would be beneficial. Moving your body in high intensity workouts or weight lifting can be really helpful in managing stresses, including anger. Might be something to look into if life allows. I can’t really say for colleges in Lithuania if I’m remembering right, but often times colleges in the US have gyms for students to use. Might be worth looking into if you’re interested.
I’m hearing that for the first time. My college does not have any gyms, sadly.
Not all of them do here either. Mostly you’ll find on campus gyms at schools that provide campus living accommodations.
I’m sorry, I thought I answered this. Yeah, still doing sw, All I’ve really ever known. And dealing with harassment…that just goes with the job. You do learn to deal with it. There are lots of ways, just like there is lots of different types of harassment.
I wish mine had one.