I've been struggling with my ED for almost a year. The severity of it comes and goes but it's still always there, lurking in the back of my mind just waiting to rear its head. I went vegetarian last year just so I could starve myself and refuse food without anyone noticing. I got obsessive with counting calories, weighing myself, and exercising. I've gotten to a point where I can eat normally but I still get stuck in starve-binge cycles and it feels like I'm walking on a tightrope. I either don't eat or I force myself to eat a large amount of food. I don't know what to do anymore. It's so frustrating.
Has therapy been something you have tried? Obviously you know what you are doing is dangerous, finding your way back to health can require some help.
@CKBlossom Ive been in therapy for a while but bringing up this sort of thing is really hard for me. My therapist somewhat knows of it.