I have had trichotillomania since I was 7 years old, I am now 21. This disease, type of ocd, habit, or whatever it is has been making my life hell. I opened up for the first time to my boyfriend of over 3 years about my problem and it helped a lot but I just cannot bring myself to do that with anyone else. My family knows about it but I don't think they know it has an actual name and is a known condition. I really don't have a point to this post, I just needed to type this to help myself become more open with my problem.
where do you do damage? i have this too. ive been pulling since 8th grade. i was able to stop for awhile and my hair actually started to grow back and i started to feel normal for the first time in years, but ive started again. i dont know how to stop.
i started with my eyelashes and eyebrows, they were completely gone and i would get teased every single day of grade school…i wore a hat and pulled it down over my eyebrows for months, when i got to middle school i started wearing makeup and they helped cover it up but it was still obvious i didn’t have any eyelashes. in high school i wore fake eyelashes almost every day and over each summer it would get better because i wasn’t super stressed about school work. my freshman year of college it escalated to my scalp…im assuming because college is much harder than high school. i think it also began because i would pick off my split ends, then for some reason i thought it would be better to just pull out that whole hair. then whenever i felt a hair with a kink in it or any type of imperfection i would pull it out. when they start to grow back i like to pull out the short hairs even more than the long ones. i rub the hairs in between my fingers to get my satisfaction or whatever. thankfully i have always been able to cover my bald spots but i had stopped going to my hair dresser because she would ask what happened and i was too embarrassed to say. i’m so frustrated with this thing because all i keep reading is that you should try to not have a lot of down time and keep yourself busy, but im in college, i sit around ALL the time studying and that is probably the number one time i pull so it is unavoidable. i have also read that i should avoid being in the places i normally do it, but i do it EVERYWHERE. in my living room, bedroom, car, the library…i do it in front of people because they just assume im playing with my hair. clumps of hair will show up on my carpet and my roommates are starting to notice. i know i should really tell them but i don’t want them to tell our other friends until i am ready so i just really don’t know if i can trust them. i want to try hypnotherapy, have you?
noive never tried hypnotherapy.. what is that like??? this is honestly so weird how its like an actual disease/disorder. ive never known anyone else with it . because i started with the split ends too. i would stare at them on the bus in high school and then just started pulling it out. i havent told anyone except for my therapist that i went to for awhile. my parents think i have some disease or some problem where my hair jsut doesnt grow and she always asks doctors about it. i feel bad but like i dont know how to tell them its just so embarrassing. i cant wear my hair down cuz its more obvious that way so i put it back into a little ponytail and everyones like why dont you wear your hair down. ive never pulled eyelashes or eyebrows, it doesnt give me the same satisfaction. idk. im out of college now but definitely when i was stressed and studying i would pull a lot more. when you get in the zone and youre stressed an djust like anxious about smething its a lot easier to get carried away and ill lok down and see clumps of hair all over my bed. sometimes ill shower a few times a day because i cant pull if my hair is wet.
I also put my hair up in a little ponytail and people bother me about it too. It annoys the crap out of me. I dont know why they cant just mind their own business. and my mom use to do the same thing with doctors. but now she gets weirded out whenever i try to talk about my Trich.
also i stopped going to a hairdresser years ago bc she would ask and its too embarrassing. i feel like it should be acknowledged by more people. i have to hide it b c i feel like its something weird and wrong with me.
yeah its like not enough people do it for others to recognize it as an actual disorder so i just feel like a freak :( i am getting closer and closer every day to telling one of my roommates who is my best friend in the world...but for now only my boyfriend knows the extent of what is going on. he doesn't know how to help...but i just told him that if he sees me pulling to let me know very gently that he sees me doing it. when i lived with my parents and my mom saw me doing it she would point it out in a way that just made me mad and made it worse. i under stand that my mom might have just gotten to the point where she was so frustrated with me pulling that she didn't know how else to react and i'm scared that is going to happen with my boyfriend. at least i am more open with him than anyone and i am 99% positive me telling him will only help me in the end. i just want the end to get here. i heard some medications take away the anxiety to pull and i really really want to try them i just dont want to go through the interview process of telling some psychiatrist what is wrong with me. i know they aren't necessarily going to judge me but i still am so scared to talk to someone i don't know about it. OMG why do humans have so many f*cking problems.