As soon as my manic episode is gone and i start showing signs of going into a depressive episode people stop talking to me and i get why i can be very harmful and destructive but im back into a manic episode and the first thing i thought about was ending it. no idea why i just feel like dying and it doesnt sound painful
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trust me, dying will be very painful. i once took a bottle of sleepingpills luckily they rescued me in time, but your intestines and organs shut down in an excruciatingly painful way. and they cant stop it once its too late. also, people that have jumped off bridges and survived, say that as soonas they jumped they regretted it.
Im sorry the people in your life are so selfish. Maybe you should write them a letter to explain how you feel. maybe they arent really aware of how they are towards you.
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Do you see someone at a behavioral clinic. Are you on meds that might help with your bipolar. Can you get on a schedule each day for healthy living. Some exercise and eating better foods. Get on a sleeping schedule. Phone down at 9pm every night. You can do it!!! Taking care of your mental health. Glad your here to get support. You are worth it. You deserve to be happy!!!. It starts with you being proactive and getting help. Once we start feeling better life gets so much easier. 
hugs.
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i know it will hurt but being alive hurts more i’ve survived many over doses and i’m just tired of being the way i am
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no i don’t see anyone for it i haven’t even seen my therapist in 2 years because my mother refuses
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