Hi, I’m new to this and not sure if it’s even real. My marriage is struggling, might even say it’s close to ending. Not for the “normal” reasons though. No issues with money, cheating, anything like that. Our issue is I have no idea how to communicate. I either go into shutdown mode when I upset wife and my mind goes completely blank or I get defensive and fire back. Because of this everything goes unresolved and just piles up on her. I’m the type of person that starts everyday fresh and what happened yesterday doesn’t matter, let’s start again. She is not that way and the lack of resolution brought on by my seemingly inability to communicate is destroying us. Any help?
1 Heart
Well im glad you joined a support group first of all. Its a good place to start.you will hear from others that will have new ideas i hope. There is also couples therapy. You both have to sit down and communicate your feeling and then try to find compromise. Its going to be hard but one day at a time.
Hun, that is exactly what marriage counseling is for or just sitting across from her and saying exactly what you just told us. When I was new at marriage I came into the marriage thinking people yelled their problems out, because that is what my parents did. My husband was from the total opposite camp. We had to learn, sometimes I still have to say, okay, I know you don’t like to talk about this stuff, but … hurt my feelings and here is why and I would really like you not to do that again. Talking can suck, but its better than boiling over. Talk to a therapist, really, learn to communicate unless you want to pay lawyers who will make you communicate and then declare you divorced and divorced.