I absolutely love this theory and find it to be quite true, most especially the quote: "The saying “If you love something let it go, If it comes back to you it’s yours, If it doesn’t it never was,” is a perfect metaphor to describe the male intimacy cycle." What are your thoughts on it?
"The saying “If you love something let it go, If it comes back to you it’s yours, If it doesn’t it never was,” is a perfect metaphor to describe the male intimacy cycle.
It is natural that when a man loves a woman, and has been intimate with her for some time, he periodically feels the need to pull away. At this time, what happens for a lot of women is they don’t understand why their relationship has been put on hold. One moment he was very close, and then for no apparent reason, he has become distant.
What they don’t know is that it is natural for him to get the urge to pull away. He has an instinctual need for autonomy. Here’s why . . .
To a certain extent a man loses himself when connecting with his partner. By feeling her needs, wants, problems, and emotions he may lose touch of his own sense of self. Pulling away gives him time to reestablish his personal boundaries and fulfill his need to feel independent....."
Thanks puppy for reminding me of that saying. And for also elaborating on it more than I have ever heard. After reading that it sure has given me some hope. Maybe that is just what is going on here in my marriage of 25yrs. I will continue to have hope and pray that is the case.
Thanks again!!
Hugs,
Lily
Lily, I am so happy that it could help you a bit and I really do believe in this theory as I've seen it happen time and time again around me. Couples that I know, who have been together for 10+ years, told me that they experienced this time and time again. My mother told me last night that she's experienced this with my father from the onset and throughout their 40 year marriage.
I'm praying for you and your marriage, and sending tons of positive energy your way.
Thanks Puppydoglvr,
I can use all the prayers and positive energy I can possibly get. I am just going to give my husband all the time and space he needs. If he still doesn't want to be married to me anymore, I will love him enough to let him go.
Thank you again for all your kind words and support.
Hugs,
Lily
Hey sweetie,
Thanks for the article. I do agree with this...that is why i will not introduce intimiacy into a relationship until I feel fully secure with myself. Although I don't plan on dating for a while anyway. I need to have my feet firmly placed on solid ground before I move on to my next victim...mwah hahahaha...
Good post. Though I dismiss most broad swipes of the brush shall we say as nothing but fluff. I find some understanding here. I first read this last night and meditated on it to try to find its meaning in me. I know in my own life when you are lucky enough to be in a relationship its so easy to lose yourself and live for them only.. and to a part thats the way it should be. Soon your going to the shows she likes. Its her music you are listening to. Nam Kings because she likes their shirmp. And though you dont understand what it is she sees something in you she likes.. and you are afraid you are losing that. Personally I might need a bit of time to attempt to reclaim that part of me which is so easy to forget when you are careing for another, and there is that fear you are slowly loosing her or becoming simply a comfortable friend. You must retreat and regroup.. refind the person you are and the one you are constantly changing to be so you will have something to offer the relationship again. Lol... hide in my cave.. write a song about my fealings instead of about her. Attempt to find what she sees in you before it is lost. Its for preserving the relationship because you have a fear you have became boring and will lose her interest. I know there are a few where distance actually means they have another interest and are simply keeping someone in their hip pocket to fall back on in case it dont workout. But for myself anyway.. that is what I got from this article. It explained a bit of me to me.. My thanks
Ststephenmc, thank you so much for applying and relating your own personal experience and life to this post, it really put it in such great perspective. It's so important to keep in check with yourself and who you are, I like how you explained it; going to your cave to re-group so to speak.