I don't really know how to do this yet. I joined today because I feel completely hopeless. 3 years ago my brother was hit and killed by a train while walking. Several stories have circled about how it came to be but his friends who were there have never been able to tell us how he died. I need to know how he died before I can move on. I constantly have nightmares about my brothers death and run it through my head all day long. I moved out of the state where we lived our whole lives just so I wouldn't see places we'd been together all the time. I'm not sure what to do. I know that since this happened I am having trouble talking to anyone about it. I think it's just cause I don't want to talk about it cause I know I'll cry.
hi september
its ok to cry or scream and shout about how unfair it is to be left behind, its ok to be angry because u dont know the answers but at the same time u need to take care of u.
mayb its time to try a counsulor or seek some medical help to move the process along, not that it is a race but its hard to sustain the level of anger or sadness without wearing the body out both physically and mentally.
im sorry that the only solution is time heals i know its trite and not what u want to hear but it is the only solution for the hurt and pain u feel right now.
why not start a journal that u write down things about your brother that made u laugh or annoyed u, or even write him a note about your day.
talking to others who have been there might help u so a support group for grief that is face to face could be good
keep posting and chattin
as always loving thoughts and positve vibes
Hi September, I am so very sorry for the loss of your brother. I can understand your wanting to find out what really happened. September 19, 1992, my sister was killed instantly by being run over by a deputy sheriff. It took her husband about a week to find the car the DS was driving when he hit my sister. I wanted to know more about her death. The funeral was a closed coffin. I called around at the funeral home and they shared with me about how she looked. I also called the police in the area she was killed and found out there what happened.Like you, I needed this to help with closure so I could move on. I suggest maybe also talking with a counselor for help with your feelings. Journaling is good also to have somewhere to write your feelings down. Also keep sharing with us. I know how much it helps to talk to others. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))
Hello September I'm sorry for your loss. A brother is a part of your own soul, and loosing him is so hard to deal with.
I totally understand your need for answers, your brother's friends are going thru tough time too I guess, it is never easy to witness something like that, but if you really feel you need this go talk to them, find a closure, that will maybe help them too, talking about it, getting it all out...
But you need to go on with your life, it may sound cliche but he would want you to, he would certainly not like to see his sister still hurting and isn't able to move on after 3 years, he is dead, he isn't able to do the things he wanted, the things he used to dream about, but you could, so honor this, honor his death and live your life, because he can't. Do it for him.
Stay strong.
September .... I am soooo sorry for your loss. I can only suggest that you try to move on and cherish the memories that you have of him.
You might find it helpful to reach out to a local support group where you can physically attend a meeting. It really does help meeting people face to face who share a similar background.
I too would suggest that you consider seeing a therapist. He/she can help you with the grieving process a lot more affectively than you can on your own.
I know it is hard not having all the answers. It is possible that his friends are soooo stricken with remorse, grief, etc that they just can't say anymore. They may have blocked out what had happened because it was too much for them to handle. I am sure they feel guilty regardless if they are at fault or not. Being the survivor leaves many people feeling guilty .. that it should have been them instead of the other person.
I hope you start to find the inner peace you need.