Hi Im new here. And not sure what to say or do. Not much in the mood to do anything actualy. But was told that I needed to talk to some one.
I had recently lost my brother who was also my best friend. We were so close that most people thought we were twins. He died April 5th of this year. And to be truthful I haven't accepted the fact that he is gone. I still call him only to have my heart break when he dont answer. I know stupid right? No one in my family understands why I cant let him go. it seems like everyone has moved on from his death but I cant. Don't know if it was because of how he died or seeing him die. Every time I try to sleep it happens all over again. And when I do sleep I can swear that he talks to me. Am I losing my mind?
I am also having a very hard time accepting that my brother is gone. For me it has been only 8 days since my brother was murdered. I can not accept that he is gone. My family is just not talking about it. I want to talk, I want to know every detail about what happened to him, I want the man who did this to pay. I have so many very raw emotions and I cannot sleep, eat, or even hold a thought, I lose track of time and what I am doing, and it seems to be getting worse.
at least you want to talk about it. but your other family members are not ready to deal with it because they’re still in shock. youre doing the right thing by letting it out on this page. i got this site through my email and im glad that i did. this site is real as it can get. just keep posting and if you would like to, please feel free to drop me a msg. and i will hit u back.
mangus
nothing u have writen is stupid, in fact im know there are lots of people who share your thoughts and feelings,
have u thought about seeing a grief consulor or mayb a berievement group to help u with this thoughts and feelings.
people seem to get over things like this at different stages and for some it takes longer to mend,
when u sleep and here him u are not loosing your mind its an echo of what he would want you to do and in time that will bring u comfort,
why not post/chat here and tell us what it was like to have an almost twin
as always
loving thoughts and positive vibes
mismy bro
how sad that your brother was snatched away from u, its always hard when they are taken suddenly for no reason, the mind ticks far more about what ifs and what haves.
it hard for the family to actually put into words what they feel and a numbness or disbelief is natural, im sure in time they will be able to speak about it.
as for wantin to know all the details u are not alone in that, its often asked in any death how what where why when,
please seek a doc or grief consuling but it is early days yet and although it is trite its also true time does heal
as always
loving thoughts and positive vibes
I am taking to some one about this but it doesnt seem to help at all. I'm just having a hard time acepting the fact that he is gone. It seems like it was only yesterday when I was taping him trying to ride the bull and being thrown about 20 feet. God that memory makes me laugh. So many memories of him. 99% of them are funny. We used to lawn ski with a riding lawn mower. He wiped out into the mail box. When I forgot where i parked my truck was easy to spot because he was sitting in the back with a neon yellow jump suit. Or him swinging from a tree brach it broke and he rolled down a hill into a creek bed. Man he was a goofy one. Always tried to make people laugh.
you’re not stupid at all nor are you weird. there are seven stages of grief. and you’ve just begun. it was only a few months since he’s passed. remember it’s ok and you’re not alone.it’s gonna take awhile to let it all go. like myself, i lost my mother to the AIDS virus and i didn’t grieve her death till ten years later! it wasn’t because we were so close. it was because when she passed, we were just learning how to be a mother and daughter and when things seemed to be getting good, she passed. your brother and you were very close. so that’s why it’s so hard to let go. but remember, he’s right there beside you at all times. it gets better as time goes by.
mangus
he sounds like the life and soul of the party :D
ok so u are chattin to someone what type of feed back are they giving u? is it positive or do u feel they are missin the point?
although his life was short im sure he left a feel good feeling on many people who will be able to move on all the better for having known him, been in contact with him or just been brought into the warmth from the outside just because he touched their lives, even if it was just a smile when they were feeling down because he was who he was
keep chattin hon it does get easier
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
One thing that has helped me in missing my loved ones is talking about them. It is ok to talk about them. If no one else wants to listen, please know that we do listen. Feel free to talk to us all you like about your loved ones who have passed. They live on in our hearts and our memories. We were a part of each other. Keep sharing with us. We are here for you with open ears and hearts. ((((hugs))))
Today is one year since I lost my brother and it is difficult. I believe people don't want to bring it up because they don't want to make you sad, but in reality what makes you sad is the fact that they don't talk about him. Inside I know that everyone does think about him and they miss him, but no one will ever miss him the same as you or your mom and dad. I am having a remembrance party for my brother tomorrow and I've sent invitations out with pictures of him. I also had a b-day gathering for him and we camped out. I sent pictures of him out for his b-day to his friends and family. There is always guilt of the fact that he is not here physically celebrating, but I try to think he is here spiritually. I dream of him all the time. I know it's hard, but I believe when we hurt he hurts, so I try my best to stay as positive as I can. I hope this helps. You are not crazy, I feel that they do communicate to us through our dreams.
hvnly
whilst im sorry for your loss im glad to see u are so positive about it, its nice to celebrate special days with our loved ones even if they cant be with us, our young grandson recently plopped himself at the bottom of his great grandads grave and sung to him, not sure he wanted to hear bob the builder but who knows, it cheered a couple up who were attending to their plot so we all chatted about lost loved ones while the four year old moved on and chatted to each stone as he past them, returning to his grandads and doing the hokey cokey as an encore.
our loved ones are never gone or forgotten just waitin in a different place till we join them again
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
domestic
Thank you for the kind words. Children are amazing and to watch their actions to situations is so beautiful and pure.
I know one day I will see my brother again, but until then I will remember and think of the memories we have:)
I lost my little brother as well. He was only 18 and heading to the army. He was my best friend. After 3 years July 8th, I still am having troubles accepting the fact he is gone. I know he is here, like the wind. I cannot see him, but I feel him...... I do often tell myself hoping to make things better.....
"To him I give my life, For he is now my angel"
My daughter was one month old when he passed. I tell her this is your uncle Brett, he is your angel.
mommy2angels
i truely believe that our loved ones are with us constantly, in thoughts heart and deed.
how lovely that he saw her and now watches out for her
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes