My name is Lorelei. I'm 19, and started experimenting with percocets like (it seems) the rest of the world...when did this become such a problem for everyone? It's so hard to stop when everyone around me either "needs" it, or does it. I've been on a rollercoaster with these little magical happy pills since I was about 16. Sometimes I'll stop for a few days or a week, I'm not nearly as bad as I used to be. I've come a long way but I can't seem to stop entirely. After a certain amount of time without a 15 or 30 or even just a 5 or 10 to make me able to sit still...my muscles don't stop moving and I feel like biting/digging my nails into something. I just pace the house and then I give in and am off again calling everyone knowing someone, somewhere will hook me up. Any advice...I'm very very mature for my age and have been dealing with family addiction problems that sound made up b/c they're so crazy my whole life. I'm not just some immature twit.
Welcome to the board. If you go to the prescription drugs journal section, you can read my story.
I started my journey like most people: with a prescription, liked the way it made me feel and then before I knew it....I was a felon with a rap sheet as long as my tracked marked arms for forging prescriptions.
After 15 years of abusing any and all opiates at extremely lethal doses, I hit my bottom and couldn't get out without help. Sure, I would quit and swear to never pick up again only to go right back full tilt boogie all over again but, I couldn't stay stopped. By the time I knew I was headed for the worst, I was averaging 100 pills a day (I cooked out the Tylenol) on top of a few bags of smack for good measure. Cold turkey was not an option for me. I found a compassionate doctor who knew what he was doing (a rarity in regards to addiction) who put me on a quick suboxone detox and then immediately started attending nightly AA meetings. No, I didn't want to go. What if someone saw me, right? Did I or we ever think about the fools we were making of ourselves in the name of feeding our addictions? Of course not. God forbid people see us getting help and becoming a power of example. So, I went. I got a sponsor, did the work and now I pay it forward. I can't keep my sobriety if I don't share it. I was terrified at first. How was I going to live without my beloved pills? I had to learn how to do everything all over again. Sober.
At the end of June I'll have two years and five months sober. I haven't been dope sick, haven't had to count my pills, haven't had a little white pill tell me what to do, when to do it and how often I could. I'm a free happy woman. I've worked out what it was that lead me to getting high to begin with. I thought I just like the feeling. No, I was hurting. A lot.
Point of the story: there IS hope. Get help. See, our way never works. We all have the best intentions, but that won't keep you sober. And well, you can't scare an active addict. I've overdosed, been arrested, have Hep C, and it didn't stop me at all. People were dying all around me, yet I made it. So can you.
Please, keep posting.
My advice to you is be honest with yourself take responsibility with where your life is going and please get help. Seek counseling, detox, and get your family educated about your addiction and try to find out what caused your need for chemicals to help you cope. Trauma is the core of addiction. What happened in you life to drive you towards drugs and/or alcohol. I wish you the best and congratulations in the first part of recovery and that is realizing you have a problem. I hope this website and all these people including me help. You are not alone. God Bless.
As I'm sure you know, the general rule of thumb is 72 hours. After that it starts to mellow out. Depending on how much and for how long.
It's a process. We didn't become addicted overnight. Magnesium works for the restless legs syndrome and Immodium AD for the stomach and the general withdrawal syndrome. Immodium has an opiate base but doesn't break the blood barrier so you can't get high, but it will ease it up a bit.
Unfortunately, there is no free pass of the opiate express. It's the price we pay, but the great news is that once it's over, it's over.
For No Excuses....congrats on your focus towards recovery. Please be careful with the Methadone. So many people in my home groups are having such a tough time getting off of it. Same with Suboxone. Anything over a 12 day run is considered maintenance and can be a bear to come off of.
I wish you both a slow and thoughtful recovery.
Thank you guys for the kind words. I know what caused me to want to escape, my family has a history of drug addiction and I had anything but a normal happy go lucky upbringing. Congrats on the 2 years :) I have some numbers written down...I've just been stalling. I'm tired of being on the run for my fix...
Hi Lorelei, Welcome to SupportGroups.com . Glad to see you here reaching out for help. That is a beginning. The withdrawals will pass and it will get better. I know it is rough in the beginning but you just have to tie a knot in the rope and hang on. You may also consider going to NA http://www.na.org/ for face to face support. Keep hanging in there and taking it one day at a time. Keep sharing. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))