New here and dealing with someone who is, the only way I can think to describe it, addicted to addiction. Background is when my husband and I met he was at 17 a heavy pot smoker and occasionally dabbled in other drugs. About a month in he was not doing anything other than smoking A LOT of pot. A year into the relationship he found ecstasy. We ended up breaking up because of it. In the 3 years we were broken up he was a heavy x user, alcoholic, and willing to do almost any high he could get his hands on. It landed him in jail on a felony. During his time in jail he got sober on his own with no NA or anything. That lead to our reconciliation. We've been back together for 6 years now and until I recently I thought he was "sober". Now I'm not so sure.
I've caught him talking to girls online 3 times now. This last time made me think to addiction though. He is not having an emotional affair. He is simply sexting with random girls online. This time though they were girls he actively knew were just looking to make money and likely using fake pics. He wasn't paying either. It seemed to be the risk that attracted him. It was also his web history that made me start think about his old addictive behaviors.
It's not that he's searching sex or drugs or anything like that. But he bought a jeep about 2 years ago and became in love with jeeping and 4 wheeling. I don't look at it as in love now though. He would spend money we don't have on jeep things. His browser was showing literally every free minute looking a jeep things. It's more than an obsession though. It's so all consuming that if I try to steer him away or remind him of other priorities he lashes out in the same way a drug addict would. Now it's aquariums. What started as one small goldfish and tank for my daughter in February has turned into 50ish fish, 5 tanks, and another problem that I can't tell if it's obsession or addiction. So I wonder if the drugs, the drinking, the sex, the jeep, the fish, and whatever comes next are all part of his addictive personality. I should also say he agrees with my thought process on this and thinks I could be on to something here. The major problem is he's agreed to seek help but I have no idea where to look for it. He absolutely despises the idea of 1 on 1 therapy. But there isn't any groups that seem to encompass addiction as a whole or addictive personality disorder. They're all for people who are currently addicted to a normal thing. They're all so specific. What about those who have been addicted to all the norms plus more and just need help freeing themselves from addictive personality disorder?