Im not taking care of myself properly. Im not brushing my teeth in the morning, Im sleeping all day, staying awake at night, my room is a mess, not taking care of myself…i want to get into a routine again and also do something meaningful, more socialising more family time (extended family)
2 Hearts
I understand how part of this feels, i suggest you watching videos of dental calculus to see what can happen when you dont brush and floss your teeth, believe me, my gums inflamed recently and it was not nice, its weird but taking care of ourselves is key to getting better, i know its difficult, im a little ahead of you and i never dont do anything basic, like brushing teeth, eating and cleaning, but im struggling to send a message to the psychologist for us to start, i have the money saved for it but i cant send it to the psychologist because i dont wanna pay for it and i dont want to start because it will take too long and i feel like im too old to start changing or something. Next time you eat and dont brush your teeth after, think of me telling you to brush your teeth, imagine me with you, i got your back, you can do it
4 Hearts
Radical change can be overwhelming. You might try habituating just a few things at a time. 0nce you’re comfortable with the new routine, add another, then gradually another. Be gentle with yourself; it takes an average of two months for a new behavior to become automatic.
3 Hearts
I have a motivation issues after self harm. I don’t want to do anything anymore. Everyday i lay down and do nothing but watch Youtu.be videos. I have to go back to NJ
2 Hearts
Does this inability to do things stem from not taking medication or maybe needing a change of meds?
1 Heart
if you’re hesitant because you feel it’s harder to change as you get older, in my experience once you understand something deep the changes are pretty automatic. For example, imagine a rock blocks a river, and the water simply finds a way to go around the rock (we all adapted to our experiences and understanding), but once we understand spmething and the rock is removed, the water can take the short cut very naturally. That might look like you feeling better, so you autpmatically start seeing others, your family, etc., differently and that might change how you respond to them. 
You can do it. Baby steps. It sounds like you’re already doing so much to do the little things which are big things. Therapy might help you release or let go or put some piece together.
1 Heart
I think routine is exactly what you need, so whether work or school or volunteer comittments—something, to force you to get somewhere early in the day can be exactly what you need to force yourself to eat, brush your teeth, shower and clean. Truly, it isnt your fault, as a human being you are programmed as a social creature with goals. Since we dont have to swing from branches like a monkey anymore to find bananas and avoid bird poop anymore, it’s importat to create that external demand from the environment sometimes since in depression it’s extremely hard. I had to get to a point of extreme weakness, and muscle pain from not eating to have that external motivation to care about myself. Try to think of something external you can get yourself to do, even if it’s a job at a coffee shop or grocery store, just do it not even for the money but for a reason to pull yourself together and be around people again. Social interactions, even minimal can help a lot.
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I relate a lot to your post. I’m very similar. I wish you lots of good luck getting to where you want to be.
3 Hearts
I am not 100% prepared to reply with an answer. My guess is “Maybe shuffling my arms like weights on a 
scale”). I just know that one drug that has the ability to ruin live(s) and without having it, it has me ankered 100 feet below in thoughts for certain.
So maybe a change in meds is needed?
1 Heart
Silent and blinking 
crickets chirping
1 Heart
… round 2 and 
im not ready to settle and i can not accept change. I love addiction and i would like to do more addicted researching. I do not know what else to type to you other than this. I am going to start sh soon and i am prepared to throw away everything for this purpose. I have been a jerk before and i can sympathize for your hard work. I appreciate everything but i just want addiction
1 Heart
This was so long ago, but I think I asked that to the original poster, not even sure now.
1 Heart
Weirdest thing JUST happened !!!
I had a DREAM !! I stole more than one brownie… but i felt like psycho me. i took 3 big brownies plus the tiny one’s and then i encountered two dead spiders…
The dead spider represents self harm. I didn’t eat the spider =(.
Which is like the story about the animal that supposedly saw it’s shadow. Would bring winter showers… i didn’t want to eat the spider 
Bummed out about it
2 Hearts
Are you hiding 
too friend?? Cause if they do find you… they will spoon feed you (“With a really big spoon”) all sorts of colorful pills 
LMAOOOOO 
!! !! !! !! !!
Did you eat the brownies on the dream? And how did you connect the spiders to self harm? If they were dead it means that you are one step closer to stop doing it?
1 Heart
No, i did not eat the spider. And i am not sure if i ate the brownies but i think i did because the spider was not really appealing. I think I would need something more attempting like a desert 
terrain and nothing around than i think the spider… i will give myself another year i tell myself. Weather has been 60 and has helped me the past two days.
Hey, I just started as a cashier in Seattle at Safeway. It gets me out of bed and around people. It has improved my mental health immensely. Safeway is always hiring so if you’re close to one, give it a chance. I got thrown on the floor as cashier in the thanksgiving rush, so I came home exhausted but happy. Give it a shot. And know I and many others are thinking about you. Light and love, Susan
1 Heart
Silent and blinking 
crickets chirping round 2… understanding if i return i will be spoon fed pills for breakfast
1 Heart
That is awesome! Congratulations!
1 Heart