so my mom took me to the doctor and against my wishes took away the one thing that was mine and i want her gone now. she took away my story which is basically taking away my identity in a way and it made me cry. her and the doctor thought i was crying cause i was upset that i couldn't get but the truth was i was upset that she tried to steal my identity. they always try and keep what i've done covered. but i'm just so honest idc what people think about me. so she decided to ask for a list of psychiatrist and psychologist so she can put me back on meds against my wishes. i tell her too f-off cause she doesn't even know me any more. she thinks i have no voice but i do and i honestly didn't wanna know if my heart,kidneys and liver are fine cause its my right to decide if i wanna know and she took that away from me. so i took the power away from her i destroyed the list that the doctor gave her. cause honestly i'm not ready to looking for help. i want help but on my terms. but i feel sort of bad that i lied and said i wasn't having heart and breathing problems. but its cause i don't wanna know and its my right to be able to decide if i wanna know one day, isn't it? but i know one day that i'll probanbly need a pace-maker cause of what i've done too myself but honestly i'm not ready too know yet.
Amberlyn .... you sound very upset. I am not exactly sure what you mean by your mom stealing your story/identity.
And, yes, you do have a right in your care. Sadly, I don't know the laws in Texas. However, I would imagine there are some similarities to the laws there as in other states. In NY a person has the exact same rights at 12 years old as someone who is 25 years old.
As for your mom: It may not seem like it but your mom does care about you. If she didn't care then why would she take you to the doctors? It sounds more like there are some major hostilities between the two of you.
As for your health: If you are having some sort of problems then you should really have it checked out. If there is something wrong and you don't ... well it could be too late if you wait. Also, depending on what could be wrong, you could be facing unimaginable pain if you don't get help.
I also have no idea what it is that you did to yourself. So I really can't advise you on that. I am hoping that you are ok.
well what i mean by my story/identity is my past behavior. its kind of like my scarlet letter. all my overdoses mark my past and my mom just won't let them go. she blamed me for her failing and all her sress when really i just wanted help so i find it hard to go to her for help. i'm hoping to just leave and never come back to this crap town. i've been thinking about running away and getting my g.e.d later. but my parents won't let me get my g.e.d cause it's not what they want. but i guess they really aren't seeing what i want any more (and i'm only waiting like another year and a half to get my heart checked out)
OK, Amberlyn, you obviously have more going on than you let us believe. I am probably going to sound like a total ***** when I say this, but I think you need to hear it.
You are 16 years old, that means for another 2 years you still have to abide by your parents rules. Period.
You complain about your mother taking you to the doctor to get you help? You should be thankful.
Your parents want you to finish school? You should be thankful.
There are kids out there who's parents do HORRIBLE things to them. Unspeakable things. And you are complaining because your parents want to take care of you?
It sounds like you do need help and probably medication. You may not think it's fair but it's what you need. Do you really believe your parents are out to get you?
Think about this for a moment. Put yourself in their shoes. What if you had a daughter whom you loved very much? You would do whatever you could to protect her.
Your parents are doing the same for you. They want you to have a good life and not struggle. They want you to be safe.
Take the emotion out of how you feel about what they are doing to you and simply look at what they are doing. Taking you to the doctor to make sure you are well. Wanting you to finish school so you can get a decent job. It's not things that are abnormal for parents to do.
I think also you talking about what is going on will help you to better understand what your parents intentions are and what it is that you are so depressed about.
Amberlyn .... you sound very much like myself when I was younger and you sound a lot like my daughter.
It is hard for your parents. I'm sure your mom feels like she has failed and has failed you. It is very hard for her to handle this. She probably doesn't have the coping skills to deal with everything effectively. I really hope she is getting counseling (seeing a therapist) to help her with how she feels.
All anyone can ask you to do is to keep an open mind about your parent's reaction to you. They are just trying their best. Their actions and words may REALLY sux and be hurtful, but they are trying the only way they know how.
As for your GED: I dropped out of high school and eventually got my GED. It was a costly mistake. I couldn't get a job that wasn't absolutely humiliating. I couldn't make more than minimum wage for the longest time. You cannot live on that. You will also find yourself always being dependant on someone else. And, that is something that I am guessing you wouldn’t like. Being dependant on someone else will be just like living with your parents all over again and worse.
If you can, please stay in school. You have a very short time left. If there is a possibility about graduating sooner then you should look into it. I know some school districts have a few methods for students to achieve this regardless of their current academic status.
As for running away: That is not a safe option. The things that will happen to you are just unimaginable to some. Also, you can’t count on friends to help you out. They may really want to but in the end they can’t. I learned this the hard ways, my daughter learned this hard way and so have many other teens.
Also, there may be some alternatives for you to look at. Your school guidance counselor might have some GREAT suggestions for you. If you still have a therapist she/he might be another avenue of information that will help you. One thing I am thinking of is something along the lines of an Adolescent Halfway House or some sort of program away from home. There are some really cool places out there but some require a lot of $$$.
I hope today is better than yesterday. :)
i know what i'm good at and what i wanna do but the point is my parents don't understand what i want. i don't wanna be on meds cause all they did was make me a drone and i could never function after that. so i quit taking them and being given meds by a doctor that you didn't even talk too was a really big fucking help. my mom knew i didn't want them but she made me take the anyway and no they didn't make me better they just gave me uncontrolable twitches. my parents my care but their constant need too feel that they understand me is a lie cause they don't they listen but they don't hear. they may love me but they don't really fully understand me as person
Amber...,
I'm sorry your mother is causing you so much stress. You need to try and understand she is doing what's best for you especially considering it's your health that is at risk. As upset as you may be, try seeing the positive in what she is doing for you. You are still a young teenager, and yes it's your life and your choices, but you are too young to make all of these choices on your own. Be grateful your mother cares enough. There are plenty of mothers out there that don't give a crap. Someday you'll see she is doing what is best for you. You are her daughter, she will always be looking out for you. Understand that she is on your side. Don't be so angry with her, try your best to communicate in a positive way.
xo, July
trust me with this women its her way or the high way
As is with all mothers. You can’t choose your family. Make the best of your situation.
Amberlyn .... that suxs. I had a mother just like that. I hope you can find a way to grin and bear it. You will be out of high school before you know it and on your own.
As July said: You can't choose your family members.
As for your meds: You have to be your own advocate. I find that some doctors will just hand you something and say that's it. That is not true.
If the meds you were on weren't working or had severe side affects, then you need to voice your concerns. There are plenty of other meds out there that will affect you much differently and have the desired results.
Not all the meds are bad ... hence my user name. :)
Have you tried joining a local support group where you can physically attend the meetings?
You may find a lot of support in one from your peers or individuals with a similar situation as yours.
well i did tell him what they did and the doctor didn't seem too care much. neither did my mother she just decide to let me choose on that and that was it. she's now trying to decide whats best for me cause she feels like i make too many mistakes with my own life
Amberlyn, all moms are that way, I'm 36 and my mom still tries. But as an adult, working a full-time job and paying my own way I have earned the priviledge to make my own decisions, but that also means when I make mistakes I am also resposible to pay the consequences for my mistakes. That is a part of growing up.
Are you ready to take on that kind of responsibilty? Where do you plan on living? Do you know how much rent is? Look in the paper. Most places for rent require 3 months rent up front.
But you are not 18 yet so scrap that idea, you are not of age to rent. Better find a shelter to live in for the next 2 years. And don't take anything valluable with you to the shelter, most likely it will be stolen.
You don't get your own room. There will be many homeless women and cots all in one big room who will live with you until you turn 18 and can rent your own place. Have you ever slept on a cot with 50 other people in your bedroom?
Now you know if you are living in the shelter there is no internet or cable. Many of them have bed bugs and lice. But I guess you will get used to it.
And most shelters close during the day leaving it's occupants shut out, so what will you do if by some odd chance you are off from work? Your friends will be in school.
And most shelters also have a curfew for all it's occupants regardless of age, 7 days a week. I know the ones around here have 10 pm curfew. If you are late, you don't get in. Continue to be late and disobey other rules and you are on the street.
And hey, I'm sure your friends and dates won't feel funny about picking you up at the shelter if you get to go out, provided you are not working and back by 10pm.
Do you have a way of getting back and forth to your jobs? Yes I said jobs because you can't make any decent money being 16 with no experience or education. Most likely you will need 2 jobs.
Then you have to eat, so you need to pay for that too. And you have to have clean clothes and uniforms for your jobs, gotta haul your things to the laundry mat and they are not cheap.
And what about getting your GED? How are you going to do that? Hopefully you can find a place you can get your GED at 5am in the morning, it's about the only free time you will have.
Look, if you think I'm being mean, I'm really not. I just don't think you realize what your life is going to be like.
You want to act like a grown up when you are not one yet, and you need to be prepared for what realistically lies ahead of you.
AmberlynHelenaRuby ..... she's right. Beautiful Dizzaster described just some of the hell you might go through.
My daughter thought she could pull it off too at the age of 16. She ran away to an adolescent shelter. She learned the hard way that it was very ugly. Her roommates stole from her. They lied about her. She wasn't allowed in her room from 9 AM to 8 PM. She had to find somewhere else to go. She had to go to school and devote 2 hours every day after school to homework. She had to live by rules that were WAY harder than mine ever were. She could not even watch TV or use a computer that was connected to the Internet. She had no freedom whatsoever. She could not even go out with friends.
She got soooo sick of it and called me to come get her.
She then tried another adolescent home about 2 months later. She thought it would be different this time. It wasn't. This one made her pay her own way. They took a HUGE percentage of her pay check and then made her buy all her own food. And, all the things she experienced before happened again.
Also, she went through hell getting seen by doctors. She could not go to the doctors she wanted. In fact, she got substandard care .... just pathetic medical care.
One day she had to be rushed to the emergency room. The doctors REFUSED to treat her without contacting me first. She was underage and they wanted parental authorization first.
It took them over 8 hours to reach me because the HOME thought they should handle the situation. It was all a very misguided thought process by the shelter she was at.
She then moved around from couch to couch. She lost everything she had. She lost those little things that she valued (pictures, jewelry, gifts, electronics, etc ...).
She eventually could not do it anymore. She came back home. She just turned 18 last month and has a much broader respect for what it is like out there.
Everyone that told her that they could help her ... didn't. They were not allowed too because their parents/guardians did not want a runaway in their home.
I just did a quick search for possible resources that may interest you. These sites may not hold the answers you need but they should be able to point you in the right direction.
I am hoping that they can help put you in touch with some sort of advocacy/resolution center. There are groups out there that work with teens and their parents to help facilitate and/or foster a positive outcomes.
http://texanscareforchildren.org/Texas-Childrens-Mental-Health-Forum/Youth-and-Family-Voice
http://www.focusas.com/Texas.html
i know what kind of hell i could go through. i have found places i could go i researched it very well and thoroughly. i'm not as idnorant as you might think. just cause of my age it doesn't mean a **** thing. and by the way i can't leave my best friend behind cause he's the only one that believes in me and respects what i want. so yea i do know the risks of what could happen too me cause i aain't no angel. i've learned from people i know how to survive on my own if have too and they all tell me the same thing just try and make it through the year cause after this its just one more year until graduation. i know what i can do for myself and sometimes just leaving for a while is what i need but i always come back. the only reason i'm still here is cause of my best friend.
Amberlyn .... I don't think anyone is saying your ignorant.
I think everyone is VERY concerned and is looking out for you.
You have to remember that when you are not face to face with someone you lose out on the translation. Body language means a lot. Without that interaction the words lack that well intended message that someone is trying to convey.
Amberlyn, you have to understand US for a change and know that nobody is out here to hurt you.
We are only giving advice on the little snippets of information you share. If you want better advice you need to open up more. We are not there with you and know all of your circumstances.
We are trying to help the best way we know how.
Let me ask you something, what do you want to accomplish here? I'm not being a smart ***, I'm simply asking.
Are you looking for help or sympathy?
i have been in your position, in your state of mind. when your young you feel like nothing is yours and the only way to get whatevers yours is to ask your parents for it... privacy is a big thing but what i once learned is that no matter what as long as your under the age of 18 not paying anyones bills and living under some elses roof. what they say goes and thats from personal experience!! as far as you getting your GED, please dont make that decision i made that one and it ended up not being as easy as i thought, especially with the economy today!! nothing these days comes free but your education does so please stay in school sweetie because it is not easy, however i recieved my ged and now in college(umuc) majoring in homeland security, and i had to do alot to get where im at now .. take the easy way!!. and when it comes to your mother she only wants whats best for you , my mom use to do things like that as well to me and her and i would argue but then i realized she only wants to help me not make mistakes she did everything became alot more easier !!! the sooner you stop rebeling to your parents and sit them down and talk with them like a young adult the easier things will get!! and it may not be the as fast as you want it to be but as long as you work on and keep trying with your parents the better it will get !!!!!!
aside from that girl you do not cuss your mother out . you are indefinetly in the wrong for that!!! i dont care what she does to you or how she makes you feel or what she doesnt do / what she does do... YOU NEVER DISRESPECT YOUR PARENTS IN A MILLION YEARS!!! if i ever in my short yrs of living cussed at any adult in my family i would get my *** beat!!! your wrong for that, you are still a child and you need to know your place when it comes to your mother/daughter relationship!!! your parents are not your friends or people in the street so dont treat them like they are!!!
Hope the best for you sweetie<3
Jaidens Mommy <3
I heard that! I’d have gotten my teeth knocked out of my head!