where do i even begin. i was anorexic when i was 14 years old, and became bulimic around 15. i remember the first time i purged - i remember feeling so shocked and assured myself i'd never do it again. here i am, 4 years later, a bonafide bulimic. i hate it so much, it has truly ruined aspects of my life and personality, but a part of me has come to accept it as who i am.
where do i get the fighting spirit back, to fight against this disease? i'm heading off to an immensely challenging university this fall, and i need the strength to stay healthy and happy. does anyone have any advice? i'd be incredibly grateful.
I developed bulimia after anorexia and it's not an easy battle, but it is one you can win!
When do you find yourself b/p-ing the most? For me it was mostly at night, so I had to start changing up my routine. I wouldn't eat all day and then I'd binge and purge all night. So I started forcing myself to eat more during the day...and though I still found myself binging at night, it certainly wasn't as much, and eventually the binging became less.
The best thing I can suggest is after a binge DON'T purge. Go for a walk or do something else to distract yourself. I found writing in a journal VERY helpful...just convince yourself that food is staying in there and DON'T restrict the next day. Eat normally as I mentioned earlier...now at first this may make you feel very ill, and you will experience reflux (where you burp up food and get terrible heartburn) but that eventually goes away too.
And you know all that bloating? That will go away too :) eating normally helps regulate your body and it will make it very happy
Also, do you have someone you feel comfortable talking to this about? If you do, call them whenever you feel an urge. Let them talk you through it and don't let them leave/hang up till you're both sure the bad feelings are gone...because believe it or not, they won't last forever until you succumb to them!
If you don't, do you have someone you could trust opening up to? Or a counselor?
I'm always here too :)
You still have to be careful since you also have anorexia, because things could go the opposite way for you. I would definitely recommend seeing a counselor and doctor.
But best of luck! Remember even though you're going to university your HEALTH comes first. It took me a long time to realize that...and if you explain your situation to a school counselor I'm sure they'd accommodate you to make things less stressful.
You can do this!!
I was never a die-hard bulimic. But i will tell u how i stopped myself from being. In 8th grade i went tho so many awefull things. I was bullied. I wasnt as pretty as i wouldv liked to be. And my parents hated each other and went thro a divorce. And i attempted bulimia. I made myself throw up 3 times.. And each time after felt awefull i felt like a bad person and like people would think im emo. Then i decided to stand stronger. Iv lost a brother, both my grandparents, an lost an uncle to drugs, my alive grandmother decided she didnt want anything to do with me. Ad my parents were getting divorced. All on top of pressure from school. And i told myself multiple times. I i can get thro that. I can get thro anything. U must be stronger then ur dissorder. Millions of people suffer from eatin disorders every day. Convince urself ur stronger. Bc u are. It takes alot to admit to ur problem, now u need to gradually solve it. When u think about throwing up.. Think about something very important to u. Somethig u couldnt live without. Let that give u strength
to specialp88:
thank you so much for your kind words and excellent advice.
i also tend to binge and then purge at night. it's a time when the rest of my family goes to sleep, so no one can sneak in on me.
my parents have always stressed that i should call them or wake them up when i have an urge to throw up. they are very concerned and afraid i won't tell the truth about when i've thrown up, because i have lied in the past. (it's the shame of it all, and seeing the disappointment on their faces, which makes me want to keep it a secret). i haven't been able to pluck up the.. courage? the determination? the strength to consult them before a binge/purge episode, but i really want to. it's difficult to sort of "exit" the mental cycle that accompanies the binge/purge, but i'm going to keep trying.
i definitely think i'm going to keep a journal - a computerized, private journal, so my roommate can't read it :)
i am currently seeing a therapist, but it will stop when i enter university, unfortunately.
to Secret me: wow. that's an inspiring story. i'm glad you found strength to overcome your disorder. i hope i can do it too. like you said, i'll try to focus on something i want: to be happy, and successful in life.
I know exactly how you feel. My mom told me the exact same thing, but I never did get up the strength to tell her. I was too embarrassed, in a way. But my relationship with her has dwindled so I don't feel very close to her.
Instead I found refuge in my boyfriend, and I tell him all my feelings. He helps with everything and I feel so much stronger with him by my side.
As for determination...think of everything you could do without this illness. Make a list of pros and cons regarding defeating bulimia. See if that helps :) you can do it!
you are so young to have this awful disease. I've been bulimic for 20 years now - please try to rid yourself of this as you don't want to be in my position. I've tried various therapies, clinics, medications, etc. and nothing seems to work. I personally have no clue how people are ever to get over this... but we must try and do the best we can each day to eat properly and keep our food down. :)
Caroline