The hardest thing for me to do is say “thank you”.
Why do you find that so hard?
1 Heart
Well, for one…
#1: i don’t like handouts, beggers, (“whatever you call someone else who asks for help”) i feel it’s below. Witch is why i always quoted, “I would rather crawl or dye on the side of the street before asking for help.” That is me preference
#2. It’s not easy to help someone else period. They usually end up in the same scenario again.
#3. I don’t appreciate it because of statement 1.
#4. I have a hard time accepting it and i get anger. It’s like accepting tips. I find that the most ridiculous payment because your relying on someone else to rate your overall service. I always tip a minimum of $5.00
#5. Transparency nobody will ever tell you a genuine appreciation if they are okay. This is who i am. My example is finding someone that is graveyard (“going to die”) style, it’s immediate. Example, no internet, no job, what would i do… i would find a spot and stay there until i would not move. It is only possible that i go into psycho mode i can steal. (“SH”) it’s mine attitude
I watched my pharmacist not go to the bathroom yesterday and i told her to go. She thinks that if she doesn’t go everybody else would see her as abandoning her position? She does this often.
I kindof what to announce at work that i am a psychopath cereal killer and whatever i say will happen. Also that I am not interested in killing my coworkers should be added to addressing this 
… long story short… i have to begin SH again. It’s is because I have to accept myself because I really can not cope without inflicting pain. This is the only way for me to live or i will loose everything