My only previous relationship was 12 yrs with my ex wife where I learned to hold things in cause my opionion was never validated or even considered. SO I learned to hold things in, keep it to myself but them Im grouchy ****** etc and then it talkes a small trigger before my mouth automaticaly opens with a childlike reaction (anger, storming away, etc).
I would like some ideas here folks. How do I learn to be calm for a second, take my girlfriend aside (or whomever) and explain that I have been hurt or am not happy with what they said or did. As opposed to reacting right away and caussing a scene or hurting someone I love deeply.
It is a process of practising to not hold everything inside til one explodes (like a temper tantrum) & in doing that to yourself causes depression etc, etc, etc,. Communication skills are key in relationships & dealing w/the outside world.
Start w/small things w/your girlfriend, maybe you'd like a different type of meal for dinner for instances & just share it calmly w/her, or maybe something w/prices of food, gas & bills that you may not agree with & again discuss it calmly w/her, do this daily & for as long as it takes til you can build up to larger things in life that you disagree about w/anyone & want to compromise & want to share your good advice & learning experiences about. Gotta begin somewhere.
OMG do I know it. BUt its border line whether my gf will stay this time. GOtta have another long but necessary talk.
TIme together is a problem, the few times we can shcedule thingas are cancelled so often, Im sure I have been harboring resentment. I have a list of things I need, I beleive these things will help me with holding things in.
Well its quality TIME, not quantity & usually works better that way for all concerned & am sure your well aware of that my friend. Good post & more will bring their advice & experiences too.
I am trying to see that. My fear is I have so much to do to be fully healed. Frankely I shouldnt have evenbeen dating yet when I met my girlfriend, but all of a sudden someone who really is the things she saysa she is (and I want) the only person who doesnt make my heart fear for its safety. ANd now it almost seems inevitable I will lose her before I am fully healed up. Shes sstuck with me so often but I dont know how much more she can take.
Either way I have to be fully healed. But the 2nd way is gonna take longer cause another broken heart will be more than too much right now.
Tommorrow is a new day. My son and I had a blast Trick or Treating. I move to a new place where my son gets his own room (to increase my access too). God loves me, My son loves me my family and friends love me. ANd my gf loves me even after I have hurt her heart.