Seeking help

Hello,
I am a person who does not want to give up, but I am about to lose hope. I’m from Lithuania and with this addiction it’s hard to find help here. I’ve been going to therapy for my psychological traumas for a long time, and my therapist suggested I look for a group because of my shopping addiction, but spenders anonymous didn’t respond, recovery anonymous felt like it wasn’t for me…I don’t know what to do…can you give me some advice?

Hello! I’m sorry Spender’s Anonymous didn’t respond. I don’t know anything about them, but I am a member of Debtor’s Anonymous, and I think they may be able to help you. There are several Zoom meetings that you could attend, held throughout the week. You can find a listing at their website. There are many overshoppers in DA (that’s how they got into debt) and you can here people share who have the same problem you describe, and from those who have overcome compulsive shopping. I attend a meeting out of St Petersburg, FL that meets at 4:00 EST for the US. I invite you to attend. You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to - just give it a listen and see if it’s something that you think will help you. There’s also a great book that has helped me a lot: “To Buy or Not to Buy: Why We Choose to Overshop and How to Stop It”, by April Benson. It has plenty of exercises to give you more insight into why you’re doing what you’re doing, and how to become a more mindful shopper. It’s not an expensive book and worth every penny! I hope these suggestions help you. If you’d like to discuss more, just reply to this and I’ll keep an eye out for your message. I can tell you more about my shopping problems. I’m also an overshopper and compulsive spender. But I’m much better now - a more mindful shopper. And I created and stick to a spending plan which really makes a big difference. I can budget in purchases that I want to make. I still get to shop - but I do it with intention. Things are definitely better for me. I’ll be happy to tell you more about it.

1 Heart

Whatever the addiction is, you need to identify what it is feeding. You might be able to find this out by abstaining from the urge to shop when you feel it. And then ask yourself what is the feeling that is driving you to want to go out and spend money.

I don’t know about addiction but that would be my first guess as to what to do to understand what is driving you to act this way.

It could be filling a void/emptiness you may feel, but the shopping activity only fills this void briefly and that once you are back at home, the feeling from the shopping experience, or from looking at the stuff you got, will subside quickly.
This might then be a desire for novelty, which is rooted in people seeking happiness with something “out there” or seeking “a solution out there”, not realising where the solution actually is.