how does one relapse 3 times in less than 1 hour i didn’t even have a reason i just did it because i could and because they were fading my whole body hurts my shoulder, thighs, and ankles i also haven’t been talking here often i’ve been so tired
It sounds like you are under enormous pressure from your parents and yourself and you are looking for a release - any release from that. Don’t let your relapse become yet another source of pressure! Forgive yourself. If it helps, we forgive you 
. Hang in there, do the best you can, and give yourself a break.
3 Hearts
i haven’t been clean in years i think the longest i’ve gone has been a month
I repeat: do the best you can. Until you can relieve some of that pressure, making progress on the self-harm is simply likely to add more pressure, which makes things yet worse. I’m not saying “give up”; I’m saying “try to set yourself achievable goals”. If that means rationing yourself to one SH episode every few weeks, so be it. Forgive yourself for being a fallible human being, and promise yourself to keep trying. It’s like working out at the gym: you get fit gradually, not all in one big bang.
I hope that is helpful. I know from personal experience that getting down on yourself for not being “good enough” is a recipe for depression and disaster. So, don’t 
1 Heart
thank you
Please make sure your cuts are clean and like @buddhabob said, forgive yourself, this is how in your head you need to act out to release the pressure. Try to think when you are about to harm yourself, will this make me feel better, try to not harm for a few more seconds and then minutes, try to put whatever tool you use away. See if other body sensations help, run a brush over your arms and legs, press in the bristles, see if that helps relieve some of the pressure to harm. We are here for you. We aren’t giving up on you, so don’t give up either! -SG
1 Heart
thank you so much i needed to hear this
1 Heart