So 9 days ago my big brother died unexpectedly. I have always eaten my feelings and so my sugar intake has gone through the roof. I have totally closed off from his death, I can talk about it fine, I even went to see him today at the chapel of rest. But I don't cry. Instead, I eat. But it can't just be food. It has to be sugar. Yesterday I had a 200g bar of galaxy chocolate for breakfast at half 7. Then throughout the day I had doughnuts, cookies, chocolate pastries, hot chocolate and then another box of chocolates. Today I had more chocolate and ordered dessert takeaway for my dinner. Rainbow cake, oreo cake, little cholate sweet things, a chocolate milkshake and a caramel shortbread. I have my wedding in 4 weeks, and a dress that I doubt I will fit into. I just want to stay in bed and eat. But actually I just want to cry for my brother. But I can't. So I eat.
I am sorry about your brother sqwoo. Be gentle with yourself no matter what you are eating as beating yourself up will only make it worse. The sugar is a toxic drug and if you are addicted like me it is a constant struggle. You are already have won half the battle though by admitting you emotionally eat and focus on sugar. Some people never even admit that!
1 Heart
I am so sorry that you are grieving the death of your brother. May God hold your broken heart and may your healing tears come pouring out. Tears clean the soul.
@watergirl81 Thank you for your words, I’m not religious so I don’t take comfort in god, but I do appreciate your sentiment and that you took the time to comment, I hope I can cry soon xx