So I got another feeling she has been lying again. But there is some doubt on this once. 5 months ago my wife went up to her moms and supposedly told her everything. She came back and told me they had this big talk and her mom was so upset and disappointed in her. Fast-forward to today.
I am driving my mother-in-law back from the mechanic. We got on the subject of my wife. I mentioned that I was concerned about her because she was taking her dads death really hard. The night he died she had given him CPR till the paramedics came and they told her there was nothing they could do and pronounced him dead. She has told me she feels like she failed him and feels kind of responsible for him dying. That she somehow should have done more. Of course my mother-in-law was concerned to hear this. She talked about how my wife takes on to much guilt for things that aren't here fault. That she is such a good person and that I already know that because she has been such a good wife to me and she would never do anything to hurt me or anyone else.
I dam@ near wrecked the car when I heard that. I was stunned. I almost screamed out how can you say that after all she has done to me. I didn't because her husband died and a moment later it clicked in my head. Either my mother-in-law doesn't know I know or my wife lied again. I am learning towards the latter. I had been the one to press her about telling her mom after I found out. I was shocked her mom didn't know. They are extremely close. An I also remembered he was nowhere to be seen or heard from in the days after her dad died. He didn't show up from the memorial either. I really think she didn't tell her. The other option is my mother-in-law doesn't know I know. She loves me like a son. She has said so many many times. She probably is hoping we work this out. If she didn't tell her mom it is further proof that so called relationship is a fantasy. Our counselor asked me last session if I had a problem with my mother-in-law moving in and I said no. Then my wife said to get her you get her mom there a package deal. Something tells me he is in for a very rough time if he ever meets her.
Personally I think if she did tell her mother, and you knew at the time, she would have told her that you knew. It would be awkward to bring it up to her if her husband just died though. And another thing to consider, is if her mother is older, then she may have memory issues and can't exactly consider every single detail all the time. So she may know but just didn't bring it up because she figured you're working things out.
@Scat
I don’t think her age plays a factor in this. If she knows I think she tries very hard not to think about it. Again if she knows I think she is very disappointed in my wife. I don’t think I ever will bring it up with her. I love her and she has suffered enough
I would say it's a very good chance she doesn't know. I will also add this: in my situation I was the one my mother in law called when she needed something, but after being told about the affair it changed our relationship. I know she was very disappointed in my husband.
@Kas1966
I really hope this situation doesn’t change my relationship with her. When my mom died she took that place. I love her like my own mother. I would like to think it wouldn’t change things between us. Her late husband had his own history of cheating on her. She knows what this is like. Hopefully everything works out in the long run.