So I responded to somebody on here regarding how I'm working on breaking the hair breaking/pulling habit, and I thought it'd be good to share in general :)
It may be different for everyone, but I can tell you what I've been doing:
First, I sat down with my journal and pen, and really delved into any details about when my hair breaking/pulling started and how. Then I thought about the reasons why I used the behavior to soothe myself. For me, I grew up in an emotionally and physically abusive environment so I found that I used the hair breaking behavior as means of calming myself, soothing my anxiety, and giving me something that I could actually control in my environment. By understanding these things, I see that the habit didn't just begin 'out of the blue' and that it was an understandable coping mechanism at one point in my life when I was young and had no idea how else to deal with the world. Also, by understanding the origin of the breaking/pulling, I could begin to have empathy for myself instead of feeling guilt or shame. Self-empathy and compassion are necessary on the path of recovery.
I then began to examine at what times does my hand tend to linger up to my head for the deeply ingrained habit of breaking to begin. Once I was able to generally pinpoint the times that I acted habitually with this behavior, I could then begin the process of mindfulness; that is, the process of becoming aware of when my hand tended to initiate the behavior. Understanding that, for me, those times were usually times of stress or waiting or boredom, I could use my brain to come up with alternate responses to these situations. So the habit began as a coping mechanism when I had no idea how else to deal with stressors or situations, but now I am older, more creative, and can definitely come up with healthier behaviors to cope when I am feeling stressed, bored, or what ever. For one, simply breathing deeply and becoming aware of the present moment (instead of worrying about the future or regretting the past) helps to clear out the clutter from my mind and remind me that I am, in fact, in control of my actions.
I also read online that trich is frequently treated by using Habit Reversal Training for repetitive behavior disorders. (You should search online for more info on HRT!) The opposing habit that I use every time I have an urge to pull/break/pick, is to clench my fist tightly. This stops my hand in its tracks. On top of that, I also breathe deeply when I clench my fist; this relieves any stress I may be feeling in the moment. And to add another layer, I repeat the mantra "Patience and Persistence." That is, it takes patience to break the habit by not getting upset when my hand keep wandering up to my hair, and it takes persistence by continuing to stay focused on the path to recovery even when my hand wanders up to my hair.
Although it may seem like I am out of control to the impulse to break my hair, I know that I am not, in fact, out of control. Rather, I've just created a habit out of necessity of the time (childhood troubles) and reinforced the habit by continuing the behavior repeatedly. My brain is just doing what I taught it and doing it efficiently. I'm still in complete control, which is why I made the decision to stop breaking my hair and to start working on breaking the habit instead!
I've accepted that it will take time to break the 15+ year habit, and I shouldn't become upset or frustrated or impatient when the behavior keeps trying to assert itself. Instead, by practicing patience and persistence I will make it to the summit, step by step, and so will you! :) I hope this helps!
Really proud of you!
1 Heart
@CKBlossom
I am smiling so big! Thank you!!! <3