So it begins

My son’s father and I have not always been in the healthiest relationships with one another. My pregnancy was horrible. He wanted an abortion and I suggested adoption. Since neither of us could agree on the next step, I had the baby.
Now “our baby” is 10 years old. His father and I have not lived together since he was 12 months old. Mainly, the responsibilities for our child has fallen on me. On times when he can contribute something financially it’s the bare minimum. Even times when he had to look after him, it was dependent on his schedule.
For awhile, the pattern was that I would bring our son to him and pick him up. This went on for years during times when I did not have a car because he totaled it to the times where I had an old car that would breakdown.
Now, I finally have a new car courtesy of my mom.
So fast forward, my mom recently passed away and I realized that many of her suffering came from hiding things about people and allowing them to “look good.”
Also, she was an enabler for negative people in her life. As I reflect I realized that is not what I want to show my son.
So, I’ve recently been pushing back on his dad to take initiative and pick up his son for these visits instead of me having to do it. He does not have a car but whenever he needs to go to work or events he finds a way. I feel as if his child is just as important. He is telling me that I am stopping him from seeing our child because I no longer want to be the Uber for him.

I know that’s not what I am doing or have ever done but leave it to him to make me feel that way. I don’t think its wrong for me to tell him that he needs to do more. It’s not fair that it’s go on for this long and all people see of him is Instagram Dad. Thanks for reading, FL mom.

I think everything you wrote here is well thought out and now that they have child uber where you can track your child and the drivers I believe are vetted, he really doesn’t have an excuse, you aren’t his wife and you aren’t on this earth to make his life easier. It is up to him to parent and for you to parent, but the two don’t need to cross over. You love your son and he needs to step up if not, you guys sound like you are doing fine on your own and it is his loss.