So tired.
1 Heart
@jamiedarrell
Do you want to talk about anything?
I am tired too.
Yes. I’m tired of being told what t do by my tormentor she tells me did you brush your teeth. As if I am a child and she is the narc mother. I swear I do nothing right. This is the second woman like this towards me and it surely must be me for choosing her when she was normal. I want to give up. I need to run from her. I guess it all happens for a reason. I want to be happy not always quiet out of fear of what I say. When I finally lose it and tell her to leave me alone that makes it worse. I feel like she is always hurting my feelings and even when I do smile she asl
@jamiedarrell
I am sorry for what you are going through with your mother. It is not healthy for you to be living in this toxic environment. I don't know your age, but are you old enough to financially move out of her home? Maybe, you could find a roommate to share expenses.
She acts like my mother. She is not my mother. She is my tormentor in life for now. She just told me I should find someone new and walked out of the door. I actually would prefer to be alone now. Like I always have been. Except for a special someone that has never judged me and has always been a friend. She is with someone too but we are still helping one another when we can. Ohh well.
I know loneliness can be tough, but would it be tougher than what you are living with right now?
I mean, you can learn to cope with depression, but when will she learn (or even try) to stop being a controlling b!tch.
Lol. I don’t think that she ever was will stop. It’s like if I say up she says down. If I learn to adapt and say down she says up.
@jamiedarrell keep your head up, make your plans and move on. You don’t deserve that and she doesn’t deserve you. Being alone sucks but its alot better then being in a relationship that you can’t be yourself or happy. Yes you have PTSD and the right person will work with you not against you with it. They will comfort you and talk to you and calm you down when you have an episode. Remember keep your head up. Hugs
I am ready to go to heaven. I am so hurt and down. Again. Xanax doesn’t work I cut myself and I am hollow. Did you know that? I missed the vein but I swear I am hollow. I could see my bone. So freaking weird.