Son in terrible chronic pain - Need HELP!

Mental Health Depression & Mood Disorders
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In the past years my son has had injuries to his neck, head and back. His pain management is not working and he is getting worse. I came back home to the east coast to be with him and find the help he needs desperately. I have been working in the medical field for about 20 years so I am familiar with the drill. I took his chart and MRI to a pain clinic of Anesthesiologists in the west coast and there wasn't even a doubt of the needed pain management plan he should be on compared to what he is on. I come back to his small town and the stigma with pain and its associations are really bad out here. I have called doctors here and it is very difficult to find what is going on. I usually only seek out doctors that belong to pain management associations. "Position: The American Pain Foundation (APF) advocates for improved access to effective pain care as a guiding principle and integral part of its mission. People experiencing pain have a basic human right to timely, appropriate and effective treatment of pain." The doctors I have encountered out here do not even abide by their own philosophy! In addition they haven't had good remarks on websites like Vitals.com and RateMDs.com that allows patients to post good and bad comments about doctors they have seen. I have moved back to the east coast in mid December and I quickly started work as I support my son and myself but I have not been successful in finding a doctor yet. I feel as a failure of a mother as I have not taken more time from my job to accomplish this mission! I am afraid and I failing, and failing in every step I take. I am hoping that someone out there has experience with some caring anesthesiology pain management doctor to share with me. The anesthesiologist group I became very good friends with have educated me to know that they are the best when it comes to pain management as that is all they have studied. On a personal note I am spiraling downhill fast and if I cannot come up with some strength I will not be of any help to my son at all. He has tried for years and years to no avail and has basically given up and I am his only hope! I am hoping for some encouragement from this group to help me get back the fight I came out here with! Now all I feel is failure and with that comes fear and more fear each day.

Position
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Hi, while im not in your exact position, my mother is, im 21 and have had chronic back pain for 4 years and shes done literally every single possible thing to help me. shes constantly upset that she cant help and all it does is upset me seeing her like this, unfortunatly, theres really not much you can do to help. do not feel like a failure, youre doing everything you can im sure, keep doing what your able to but understand its ultimately up to doctors to help him. i feel exactly like your son, please try not to be upset or cry in front of him. all it will do is make him sad and upset. i know its hard, ive seen my mom like this countless times andd it jst makes me feel like my injury is bringing her down to and messing up her life as much as its messing up mine, although its difficult, try to stay strong. keep posting and talking to people who understand because its hard to find people like that,

my email is [email protected] if you want to email

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also it might be good to talk to my mother about it, for both of you, let me know if its something youd be interested in

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have either of you chacked out www.poweroveryourpain.com i just mention it as i am waiting on insurance to approve as i have already had a temporary so going for the permanent. please, please keep reaching out to this group. i joined the beginning of last month and they have helped save my life. family members are great and supportive but i needed more support other than what they could do for me. dearest needtofindstrength i'm sorry you and your son are going through such "hell" i've been the patient and been to more doctors than i can count. me it's the lower back, hips, vaginal area and right leg. my biggest problem has been finding pain medication that works. i had been bed/couch bound for 8+ months. right now i'm just able to get about a bit the past couple of days. it's sure better than what it was. i was sreaming out for death the pain was so bad. my husband i thought was gonna have a heart attack (for real) he consindered watching me like watching jesus being crucified. he has been doing better. you can only do what you can do and i know how badly my family members have felt, just helpless. they are doing all they can do and they have a life to. keep posting on this site the people here are wonderful and very ulifting and supportive. honey if you go under it's not going to do your son any good. you need to take care of yourself as well. what ever that entails. get your son on this sight since he is suffering so. we can share what works what does'nt. what meds is he on? i'm oxyicodone and fentynl and many days it has'nt worked. i have a tough metabolism i guess. to both you and Jeff please let me know what i can do for you i'd love to help if i can. you can also help me (which in turn helps you) by listening to my "stuff" big hugs to you and i'll pass on what everyone is telling me...hang in there keep knocking and the door will be opened, seek and you will find don't give up.......i have been in so many desperate days myself since my illness and these people here now give me a reason to get up each day. they check up on me and want to know what's the latest that's happening so nice to meet you both sorry it's under suck dire circumstances....united we stand, divided we fall, i'm with ya....love and hugs from houston kathy

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i definitly understand screaming and crying in pain, its terrible and it scares people who see it. you have to keep reminding your family memebers that they cannot fix you, they can only help and regardless of how much it does tell them it helps alot. its a terrible feeling to bring down everyone around you being bedbound was the worst thing for me, it was about 10 12 months for me and ive contemplated suicide multiple times because i felt like i was trapped, no one who could help would and everyone who would do anything for me, really couldnt do much. im sorry youre meds arent working, this sounds insane but id be happy to get anything at all, i fucked up my chances my smokin weed a few times because my nerve pain was so severe i was screamin and crying and couldnt get out of bed, even to pee. gross but true, my girlfriend was amazing through everything, we had been together for 8 years and we broke up 3 weeks ago. i cant blame her, i wasnt there for her, i couoldnt be, and i would snap at her when she wouldnt deserve it at all. well see what happens. OH one point i want to make to all of you, there are very simple ways to make you medicine stronger, ONLY do this if youve been on the same dose/med for at least a few weeks, but there are things called opioid pontentiators, they make it work better, such as tramadol (RX only), grapefruit juice (swear to god, google it), a meal with a high fat content, a high fat meal will increas the plasma concentrations of oxycodone for example by up to 28%, idk the exact numbers for other opioids. these are safe ways to make the meds work better, do not take other drugs like alcohol, xanax, benadryl to make them work better those are not safe and can lead to fatal respiratory depression,please dont misconstrue what im about to say, but in my situation i much obtain MEDICINE in less than ideal circumstances, meaning ive had to pay for them like a fucking junkie, thank god the people who help me know im using them orally for pain so they help me out with costs, Its a catch 22 for me because i hate the people i deal with because its people like them who make it impossible for me, a legitimate pain patient, to get the help i need, jst to be able to get out of bed, but im in so much pain for over 4 years ill do pretty much anything to get relief, whats worse is i hate taking these things, i hate the way they make me feel, with one exception, the pain relief. please dont judge me for what i have to do, but it the only way to get out of bed, and after almost a year of not getting out of bed at all, developing atropy, and other problems from being in bed all the time. ill do anything, thats safe, i wont ever abuse my meds, take a medicine thats for something i dont need help with etc. it just upsets me so much what i have to do, but at the same time, being in chronic pain for 4 years, id rather die than be in the pain i was in. i know how you feel about these people giving you strength and hope to get out of bed in the morning. What does “keep knocking and the door will be opened” mean?youre right people here are great, they care more about us than anyone else it seems sometimes.
Thank all of you for listening and sharing your experiences